They Do Exist.

A Letter To My Younger Self On Valentine’s Day

Editor’s Note: Today’s post is by Stephanie, over at For Such A Time As This. I adore it. You would do well to print it out and hang it next to your bed. – Lauren

Hey. Stop what you’re doing for a minute and listen. You aren’t going to believe everything I’m about to say, but I know you will understand it. I know you, and I know what you’re thinking. Maybe you will recognize me. Maybe you won’t.

First things first, you’re gorgeous. I know you don’t think that, and I know right now you’re smiling and inwardly negating my words; you do that a lot. Stop it. God made you. You don’t know Him that well yet, so you don’t understand this, but He formed every part of you. He molded your face, gave you that hair you try to cover up. He made you with hips (not the bad thing you think it is). And all those curves that make you feel disproportionate? He made those too. He made your nose and your eyes and he made you a little shy.

You feel cheated right now, wondering why the God of the universe didn’t make you alluring or talkative or anything like the girls you wish you were, but you’re wrong. You’re so wrong. Because, when God made you, he didn’t step back and look at the finished product and say, “good enough”. He didn’t grimace when he realized he made a few mistakes, but ushered you out into the world anyway. He didn’t even nod and think he had done pretty well. No. He saw you and he was enthralled. Girl, the king is enthralled with your beauty. Why? Because you – because the woman he made – was absolutely gorgeous.

I know you don’t feel that way, when the boys in the hallway try to rate your beauty on a scale of ten, when they make you feel unseen, unwanted. Don’t listen to them. Ignore them. For they are just boys and you are a woman – not one of their playthings. You surpass their scale; no one can assign your beauty a number, a rating, a degree. Those who try and do such things are mere fools, not worth being heard. Yeah, their opinion seems like the world to you now, and the things they say cut deep, but you’ll get through it and soon they will be as laughable to you as they are to me now.

You think your brain is your only redeeming quality; you feel threatened when people try to challenge that. You tell yourself that if you can’t be pretty, at least you can be smart, but that’s not true either. God made you beautiful and He made you smart, so stop putting yourself down, stop believing lies (you made most of them up anyway; in a few years, you will realize that). You feel like no one will ever understand you, and they probably won’t, but that’s part of what makes you beautiful. God made you mysterious.  You wouldn’t be you if people entirely understood you.

You don’t believe me. I know that. You won’t understand for another few years. You’re asking yourself how anything I say can be true, when deep down you feel so small and unseen. You don’t feel beautiful or powerful or anything like a woman when you sit in the back of the class room silent, avoiding eye contact with the “pretty girls” and the teacher who knows that, though you won’t speak, you have so much to say. That’s right; you don’t fool me. I know how your mind is racing, how badly you yearn to be heard despite your fear of speaking. Your stutter really isn’t that bad.

Girl, things aren’t going to be easy, getting here. Sometimes it’s going to hurt – a lot. But some day you’ll understand what I’m saying. Some day you will come to terms with the truth that God made you beautiful, and the lies you once believed will enrage you. Some day you will be angry at the world that pressed those unhealthy expectations and feelings of failure onto your heart, and you’re going to fight. You’re going to make war on those lies – in your life and in the lives of others. That’s right. Some day there are going to be women who look up to you, and you’re going to understand the struggle in their eyes. You’re going to see in them the girl to whom I am writing this letter. It’s still going to be a struggle for you; it isn’t always going to be easy, but God is on your side.

And you will grow, step by step, day by day, as I am growing now, as you learn what it means to be a woman deeply loved by the Lord.

Listen to me. Please. You are beautiful, just how God made you. If nothing else, please understand that. Cling to it. Cling to the truth that God made you well.

And keep fighting. I’ll see you on the other side.

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17 Responses

  1. Fabulous!

    February 15, 2012 at 6:40 am

  2. Brittany

    Wow. That was absolutely incredible

    February 15, 2012 at 8:46 am

  3. Well… I guess you do know me! Haha! Wow. This… is so amazing! Thanks for sharing! God bless! :)

    February 15, 2012 at 10:36 am

  4. Grace

    This was beautiful. Thank you for posting it. :) Thank you for reminding me of the truth.

    February 15, 2012 at 10:42 am

  5. Melissa

    Love this so much. Sharing with my youth group girls as we speak…

    February 15, 2012 at 12:13 pm

  6. freakin amazing post. thank you.

    February 15, 2012 at 1:08 pm

  7. Joanne

    Beautiful. Thank you for posting this, for the great reminder!

    February 15, 2012 at 1:49 pm

  8. kelsemery

    This was perfect. I needed this today. Thank you.

    February 15, 2012 at 2:35 pm

  9. This is amazing- well said! How I wish I could have given my younger self a letter like this… and how I wish the me in twenty years would write something like this for me today…

    February 15, 2012 at 4:31 pm

  10. leeleegirl4

    "God made you smart and beautiful" is absolutely wonderful.

    February 15, 2012 at 6:23 pm

  11. kelsey6791

    This is right on time. My experience as a young girl in high school really sucked. I remember one day a boy called me disgusting and everyone laughed at me. It was like a scene from a movie. I was so humiliated and hurt. But I am beautiful and smart! God is in awe! I am thankful for the experience because now I speak loudly and boldly and never let anyone tell me I'm a mistake.

    February 15, 2012 at 11:17 pm

  12. Nikki

    This is probably the first time being called beautiful actually has scratched the surface of my attention (And it wasn't even directed to only me. lol) I almost cried… I want to believe this forever.. with all of my heart; But right now it's fighting against years and years of belief and accusations. I don't know if I'll remember this tomorrow… but I'll try… thank you.

    February 21, 2012 at 4:08 pm

  13. Breanna

    Thank you so so much for posting! SUCH a good reminder and so many beautiful words of truth! I'm definitely going to share this with the girls in my small group!

    February 21, 2012 at 4:54 pm

  14. JenSomeone

    Thank you for this awesome lie cutting blog! ESP since I put on weight from hypothyroidism bec of the metrics I grew up in its hard not to be self critical. I don’t ever recall being told I’m ok just the way I am by my fam but spiritual family yeah. Ironically, I’d be happy to be back where I was pre hypo even though before I thought it wasn’t enough. Praise God for them.

    March 30, 2012 at 10:25 pm

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