Bodies & Beauty: The What, Not The Why.
Editor’s Note: This is an anonymous submission, and absolutely beautiful. Read and take to heart. – Lauren
I used to get flushed with embarrassment over how ugly I was. More than once, I looked in the mirror as I was getting ready to go somewhere and dissolved into tears of embarrassment that I was too ugly and misshapen to be in public. In my stomach I would have this curl of dread and shame.
And then God moved.
It has been a process, but He has lifted me out of the muck and mire, rinsed me off, and showed me the beauty within, the beauty that’s in all of us. Each one of us in a reflection of our Maker, and He is infinitely beautiful. I used to labor under the lie that I was an ugly, unlovable troll who only deserved to be kicked. But God gave me a vision of a person beaten, left for dead on the side of the street.
“No one deserves that,” I thought.
“And neither do you,” God replied.
I had been treating myself worse than I would a random stranger on the side of the road. But, I was worthy to be loved because we all are, by virtue of our creation.
I started taking better care of the temple God have given me charge over. I got my teeth whitened. I had the mole on my forehead removed. I started coloring my hair a warmer brunette that left me looking less washed out. While I was at it, I learned how to blow dry my hair a better way. I had laser surgery on my eyes, which meant they weren’t constantly blood shot from contacts. I lost 20 lbs.
Then one day, I was standing in a tanning booth asking God to make me beautiful.
He told me “You are already beautiful, because I am in you.”
I realized that accepting God’s love, letting his Holy Spirit fill me, and reflecting Him in my heart and actions were the most beautiful things I could do. The most beautiful people I know have had that spirit and love reflected in their eyes.
What is beauty? It is so much more than the size and shape of our bodies. God is beauty. And we were created in His image. When we reflect our Creator, the Lover of Our Souls, we are reflecting the greatest beauty that has ever existed. And that’s a beauty that never fades with age – it only grows stronger with wisdom and experience.
I still have times when I lapse into feeling ugly and unlovable.
I can be plagued with Whys:
Why don’t guys like me?
Why can’t I find a godly man who will pursue me?
Why am I not married yet?
Why can’t I be the wife and mother I’ve always wanted to be?
But what always helps me is focusing on What:
What does God have for me right now in this season of my life?
What can I do to be more like Jesus?
What can I do to be His hands and feet to the least, the last, the lost and the broken?
Fulfilling God’s unique purpose for me, using the skills, talent and heart that He has given me brings me greater joy and fulfillment than mere looks ever could. That is what makes me beautiful. And that’s enough for me.
I graduated from college 10 years ago. Last week, I was talking with a college friend, and she said, “You look younger and hotter than you did when we were in school.” It’s true. It’s because I found my mojo – in Jesus.
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