An Introduction To April: Boundaries.
Editor’s Note: Hey girlfriends! HAPPY APRIL! I hope you all survived whatever horrendous jokes were played on you on the first, and that you’re ready to talk about boundaries this month!
We’ve already received several submissions and for this I am so grateful. It has become clear though that we need to define what we mean by “boundaries.”
A boundary is a personal property line that marks those things for which we are responsible.
Envision a little wall all around you, with a gate. Your heart lives inside the wall. You control the gate. You let things in, you let things out. (Yes! Walls are good things. They’re only bad if you don’t know when to open and close the gate.)
Boundaries protect, but they also give you the ability to function well as you. Emotional and spiritual boundaries do the same thing as your skin: they protect you from harm, but they also are what gives you the ability to extend yourself on behalf of others without losing yourself. Without skin, we’d be pools of livers and blood on the floor. We’d be susceptible to every germ and couldn’t survive. The same with internal boundaries: they give us the emotional and spiritual structures to not be completely at the whim and mercy of everything. We get to engage willingly in each of the areas of life to the extent we can, because of boundaries.
As Cloud & Townsend put it, “boundaries define who we are and who we are not.” We have physical boundaries, mental, emotional, and spiritual boundaries. They’re healthy things, but often, Christians focus so much on being loving and “unselfish” that we forget we are only human. We have limits, therefore we have boundaries. We are uniquely created as individuals, therefore we have boundaries that help us hold onto these beautiful attributes.
If you would like to share your story on how you’ve learn to set physical and/or emotional boundaries in relationships with parents, siblings, friends, significant others, co-workers, the internet (!), or whoever, please visit our Contribute page.
If you have not yet read the book Boundaries, I cannot recommend it enough. You can purchase it for under $10 including S&H on BestBookBuys.com or purchase it straight from Amazon. If you struggle with not being able to say no, standing up for yourself, if you avoid conflict like the plague, or are simply struggling to know what you are responsible for in any kind of relationship, I have yet to find a book half as helpful.
Much love to all of you,
PS. SO many of you beautiful women in our community have been sexually abused or assaulted. Today is the LAST day that the e-book “Rid Me Of My Disgrace” is FREE. Please go download it and share it.
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