They Do Exist.

Boundaries After A Break-up

Editor’s Note: I am consistently in awe of the grace and wisdom found in this community of women. Break-ups are some of the most painful experiences in our lives, and today, Megan writes on handling the aftermath. Megan Odegaard has an M.A. in Marital & Family Therapy from Bethel Seminary, San Diego. She is currently on staff at UCLA. You can follow her on Twitter: @meggo310. And sidenote? We have a question for you.Lauren

“It’s called a break-up because it’s broken.” Greg Behrendt

“Great is the art of beginning, but greater is the art of ending.” Henry Wadswoth Longfellow

What does the word “break-up” stir up in you?

For me, it is the state of being in which emotions are raw to the core. Usually consisting of large amounts of shock, frustration, anger, and devastation. The person you thought you were going to have a beautiful life with is perhaps suddenly gone from your world. Or maybe you spent years trying to fix a problem and came up completely empty.

One thing seems universal following a break-up: You can’t help but crave that closeness again.

So what do we do? Maybe we use our circumstances to try to have a “chance” meeting. Or come up with a hundred reasons why texting or calling is a GREAT idea. At some point, we will probably resort to cyber-stalking (don’t even try to deny it!)

These things we do are an attempt to block us from the pain brought on by the loss of the relationship. The question always is looming: how long can we continue contact — and lessen the feeling of “loss” — before we have to create a boundary?

In this society of prolific communication, we can stay connected to people we perhaps shouldn’t. I mean, there are an infinite number of decisions – Do I delete this person from my Facebook, Twitter, G-Chat, YouTube, Instagram, Blogger and Tumblr accounts? And what about his mom and sister and best friend that I am also connected to?

One thing is clear — Breaking up is not so black-and-white these days. The boundaries can be very blurry.

I know for me, I have to do whatever it takes to disconnect myself from the comfort and security of connection with that person. Sometimes that means not talking for a long time or seeking out some new habits and friendships. Sometimes it means turning off facebook for awhile (because even if you delete the ex from your account… you still have 76 mutual friends that post about stuff involving the ex… ). It can turn into a daunting task.

I dated a guy once who happened to live next door. Which was amazing while we were together. Following the break-up, communication was pretty much severed. But there was a point when I realized that I took comfort in knowing every night when I came home, he was next door. Even though we weren’t really on speaking terms, and even though we both started to casually date other people, I still took comfort in his unspoken presence.

It took me almost a year to face the hard reality – Although it was easing the pain, if I ever really wanted to move on with my life, I would have to physically move apartments. Which was not ideal, because our place was great and cheap. (And I had lived there first. Not fair!) But after moving, I was instantly free from that final touch of emotional connection, and that feeling was priceless. Now having experienced some of the best years in my new place (and even successfully finding new love), I wonder what the heck took me so long.

The truth is — the longer you hold on, the longer you may be missing out on the blessings God has for you. You wouldn’t go back to a job you’d been fired from would you? (“But I really loved my job!”) And yet we find ourselves continually investing mental energy in relationships that aren’t right for us, whatever the reason may be. In one way, it could be seen as an admirable quality of perseverance. However, when it is over – truly over – no amount of negotiation, promise to change, or willpower to try harder can make something work that doesn’t. It is time to free yourself in order to be able to receive God’s best for you.

Which leads me to the next hard question – when do you have hope and when do you move on?

I wish I could answer that question for you, but I can only tell you this for certain. Knowing your identity makes all the difference in how you respond to a break-up.

What (or who) do you put your hope in? Do you seek comfort from past loves because it is easy, to assuage your own doubts of your worth? To calm your own fears of the future? Or do you embrace your calling as God’s child and trust that God is sovereign and has your best interest, even in (and especially in) this break-up?

I believe a break-up is one way God calls his children back to him. Relationships are very tangible sources of security and comfort. However, when you get so comfortable you start overlooking God’s will for your life, and what is best for you, it is possible to make a wrong turn.

“Much of the disappointment and heartache we experience is the result of our attempts to get something from relationships that we already have in Christ,” Timothy Lane & Paul David Tripp write in their book, Relationships: A Mess Worth Making. They go on to say (paraphrasing): If we seek our identity from other people, we will ride the roller coaster of their best and worst moments; we will become acutely aware of their weaknesses and failures; we will become overly critical, frustrated, disappointed, hopeless and angry because they have failed to deliver the identity we desperately seek.

However, if we remember that we are a beloved child of God, and that he has given us everything we need to be who he created us to be – we are freed up to truly love and serve others. We are free to be patient and forgiving, because we are not demanding anything in return. And we are free to mourn the loss of something special, appreciate it for the gift it was, and move on to better things for us.

So, in the face of a break-up, it is okay to be hurt, angry, and disappointed. It is okay to feel the looming pain of loss. But the sooner we embrace the appropriate boundary toward healing, the better. Even if the boundary is temporary. Even if we try one thing and have to change it. It is important to take a step away from communication for awhile and gain comfort in something besides that person. Do something you have always wanted to do, just for yourself. Take time with some great friends. Try a yoga class. Sign up for a marathon. Most importantly, seek God. It is in this place that you will find true healing, comfort and wisdom even in the midst of the most confusing relationships.

But if any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask of God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. – James 1:5


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41 Responses

  1. Did you write this for ME today? It sure seems like it; these are the exact words I needed to be reminded of today. Thank God for giving you a story to share & for leading me here after a twisted, confusing day.

    April 6, 2012 at 12:43 am

  2. Kelsey

    Thank you so much for posting this today.
    I just had a difficult conversation with an ex last night about making sure we set good communication boundaries. Even though we only dated for a short amount of time, there's always the temptation to fall back on that person for comfort when things come up down the road. I'm looking forward to God's plan for each of us individually, because I can already tell that we are apart for a very specific reason. I really needed this encouragement, because it becomes easy for me to make excuses for calling, texting or just thinking endlessly about future possibilities. I feel less alone – like I can finally take some steps towards true freedom and independence.

    April 6, 2012 at 10:05 am

  3. jaysuzanne

    I'm so grateful for this article. I am still experiencing the aftermath of a break-up that ended 2 months ago, and in its cloudiness and discomfort, it's so easy to lose perspective, hope, and clarity — the very perspective, hope, and clarity mentioned in this article. The worst place to be when you are experiencing the aftermath is the feeling of being foreign to yourself, especially if you don't see the woman you want to be — independent, strong, and confident. Not feeling a sense of true identity in the midst of a break-up feels like being taken up in a tornado of self-doubt and uncertainty and not knowing when you're going to land.

    I am so guilty of (still) putting energy towards doing the things mentioned in this article, despite what I know to be true, healthy, and wise. Thankfully, God is constant when I am not. I love that this article gives practical advice, as well as pours out truth, especially when it's so hard to see sometimes. Trusting God is scary, especially when we're trusting him with the care of our hearts. But thankfully, God is consistent in restoring hope, realigning perspective, and giving clarity. Knowing that to be true only makes letting go of the perceived control that much easier. It means I don't have to depend on someone else to give me security because I have enough freedom in Christ to know otherwise.

    April 6, 2012 at 12:27 pm

  4. Jordana

    so i read this post earlier this morning. in the afternoon, the ex-boyfriend decides to call and try to catch up. i'm so glad this article was fresh on my mind so i had the courage to re-establish and enforce the boundaries that are totally necessary right now. i reminded him that he doesn't have to understand or agree, but i demand that he respect and honor the limits i've put in place to guard my heart. thank you!

    April 7, 2012 at 12:24 am

  5. Amy

    I have gone back and read this article SO many times since ya'll posted it. Thank you so much for sharing this, this blog post has greatly impacted me. Through this, I've realized that I haven't fully let go of a relationship and need to in order to have complete freedom in Christ. It's reminded me to guard my heart right now and depend FULLY on God instead of mere man. I'm taking another step towards Christ, thank you :)

    April 9, 2012 at 4:47 pm

  6. Katy

    "It's called a break up because it's broken." Thank you so much for just putting that out there. I'm guilty of leading myself to believe that a break up is only temporary until you both fix your problems because it's easier than just admitting that that person wasn't who God had planned for me- it was who I had planned for me.

    So much of my past relationship was based around trying to "fill" holes in another person's life, it took me a very long time and some serious prayer with a mentor to realize that those holes can't be filled by another person. That lacking, aching feeling that so many of us assume can be soothed by a pair of strong arms always comes back because it's not about an earthly need but a need for God.

    This was a wonderful article that so many people can connect to.

    April 10, 2012 at 2:39 am

  7. meegsx

    thank you. simply, thank you.

    April 11, 2012 at 4:45 pm

  8. Anna

    This article is so timely! I've been trying to get out a toxic relationship for a while and I understand that I need to take some practical steps to protect my heart. I've never really known how to create boundaries but now I see how vitally important they are. I've read this several times in the past few days to be reminded of who I am and what I'm worth, far more than any boy can give.

    April 12, 2012 at 10:17 am

  9. "Most importantly, seek God. It is in this place that you will find true healing, comfort and wisdom even in the midst of the most confusing relationships."
    thank you

    April 12, 2012 at 9:09 pm

  10. anonymous

    "However, if we remember that we are a beloved child of God, and that he has given us everything we need to be who he created us to be – we are freed up to truly love and serve others. We are free to be patient and forgiving, because we are not demanding anything in return. And we are free to mourn the loss of something special, appreciate it for the gift it was, and move on to better things for us."
    So true. I guess the hardest thing for me right now is the waves of good memories that hit me like a brick wall at random parts of the day. I keep forgetting the difficult parts of my relationship, even why we broke up in the first place. These memories seem like my worst enemy. Any other advice for being free and moving on to better things for us? When the memories hit me they make we want to return to those memories which seem better than where I am right now..

    April 21, 2012 at 10:55 am

  11. princesspeach

    I found this on Pinterest and it is exactly what I needed to hear. I knew for a while that the relationship I was in was not going to last and God wanted something different from me. I put off the breakup because I loved him so much but he actually broke up with me a few days ago and I have been having a hard time but this hit the nail on the head. Thank you.

    May 29, 2012 at 3:08 am

  12. walkingbarefootblog

    WOW!! I can't believe how this spoke to me now. I'm more than a year past my breakup, but I'm still off fb for this very reason. Thanks for the reminder about the physical boundaries, that they're ok. I still pray to this day that I never see him when I know I'm going to be in a place where I could see him. This was such a blessing to read, thank you!!! And thank you, for reposting it to twitter!! Blessings!!

    September 12, 2012 at 2:06 pm

  13. Cherry

    I’m going through a break up right now as well. What makes it even harder for me is the fact that my boyfriend was the only person I had that was close to me in my life. Now that he is out of my life, my lonliness eat away at me painfully. Because I know who I am in Christ, I can honestly say that even though I suffer from the breakup, me turning more to God’s word and going to church is giving me the strenghth I need to make it through this tough time. I’m not completely healed yet, but I can feel myself getting stronger; God’s word is renewing my mind and giving me the hope of knowing that this too…… shall pass :-). Thanks so much for your encouraging words.

    May 22, 2013 at 1:15 pm

  14. So I came here to find some comfort and words of encouragement from the archives. I ended a relationship with a guy I have been in a long distance relationship with. The biggest reason why I decided o end it was because he is not a believer and continuously indirectly bashed my relationship with God and my church friends. I enjoyed the love and attention but honestly what I want most is someone who will love me and do all those sweet things but also help me grow spiritually.

    June 7, 2013 at 4:27 am

  15. Thank you so much for this piece:) I will read it over and over and over :)

    June 7, 2013 at 4:27 am

  16. ping

    Thank you thank you thank you Lord for showing me this article. It’s just what I need. Thank you for posting it and sharing with everyone. :)

    July 26, 2013 at 11:53 pm

  17. Mitch

    what can you say and would do when your ex move next door to you after a break up with potential of bringing his new partner?

    August 20, 2013 at 5:28 am

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    October 4, 2013 at 7:08 am

  19. lola

    Needed these words of encouragement..just got out of a relationship and am experiencing a lot of hurt and disappointment right now. These past few days have been nothing but tears and wish the pain would just go. After reading this article it gave me a sense of hope, more so reassurance that God has his best out there for me and that this relationship was just a stepping stone for someone so much greater that God has in store for me.Now I’m going to take time to love on ME and enjoy learning more about myself and what really makes me happy

    October 16, 2013 at 9:48 pm

  20. Alex David

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    November 5, 2013 at 11:42 am

  21. shawn

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    November 22, 2013 at 2:37 am

  22. Owen Chloe

    My name is Owen Chloe from United Kingdom I never believed in love spells or magic until i met this spell caster once when i went to Africa in February this year on a business summit. I meant a man who’s name is DR.ROBIN he is really powerful and could help cast spells to bring back one’s gone, lost, misbehaving lover and magic money spell or spell for a good job or luck spell .I’m now happy & a living testimony cos the man i had wanted to marry left me 3 weeks before our wedding and my life was upside down cos our relationship has been on for 4 years. I really loved him, but his mother was against us and he had no good paying job. So when i met this spell caster, i told him what happened and explained the situation of things to him. At first i was undecided, skeptical and doubtful, but i just gave it a try. And in 7 days when i returned to Canada, my boyfriend (now husband) called me by himself and came to me apologizing that everything had been settled with his mom and family and he got a new job interview so we should get married. I didn't believe it cos the spell caster only asked for my name and my boyfriends name and all i wanted him to do. Well we are happily married now and we are expecting our little kid, and my husband also got the new job and our lives became much better. His email is robinhealinghome@yahoo.com

    November 22, 2013 at 8:25 pm

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    November 23, 2013 at 11:24 pm

  24. Nancy

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    November 27, 2013 at 2:35 am

  25. reevel

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    January 6, 2014 at 4:02 pm

  26. Maggie

    Goodness, how hard it is to assert boundaries. I was with my ex for 7 years and we have a child together. For the last few years of our relationship he stopped staying he loved me, was generally distant and did not want to discuss our future. Every time I wanted to discuss our relationship he was dismissive and made me feel like I was being overly dramatic. It was clear he would just have let things carry on like this, probably for an easy life. I felt I had the power because I was the one who would need to have the courage to end things even though it was not what I wanted. In the end I had to push him for an answer and he gave it to me: it was over. We continued to live together as a family for the next six months until our lease ran out and then moved into separate homes. At first I assumed we would not be in each other’s lives at all which was a hard thing to accept, particularly I was very close to his family. But we soon ended up very much in each other’s lives. He would stay long after dropping our son off and we would hang out and watch films together. Then it often ended up leading to being physically intimate and sometimes sex. This was all under the guise of it being really good for our son that we were so close. We even ended up spending the night and sneaking out of each other’s houses early in the morning and this became a weekly occurrence. When he created an online dating profile he asked for my advice and I gave it to him. He started a new relationship and discussed his doubts with me, I listened and advised him. When I then started a relationship I did the same thing. About a year ago I realised that deep down I believed we would end up back together. On his 30th birthday we slept together and he asked me to spend the day with him and our son, even though he was in a new relationship. After this I spoke to him about how confused I was and he said that he didn't understand why it always ended up this way but just that he thinks it felt safe and comfortable. I then decided it needed to stop so I asked him if he wanted to try again and he said he didn't see how it could work when it hadn't worked the first time. I had intended to cut all ties if this was his answer but just couldn't and still remained friends, although we have no longer been physically close. This summer on our son’s birthday he began to flirt and hinted at wanting to see me naked. I put a stop to it and went to bed. Since then he has started a new relationship. He has avoided talking to me much about it as I know he doesn't want to hurt me. But I have been consumed with hurt and jealousy, thinking of them together. I know I need to cut emotional ties and have really tried to avoid spending time with him. But then we will ask if things are ok between us and all my walls break down and I end up letting him in again. He even asked me for advice about his new girlfriend again. The thing is he truly is a very good man and will help me with absolutely anything that I need. He often asks me about how my dating is going. So now I am not sure what I am left with. I clearly need to cut any ties but his family are part of my church and often in my life and obviously I have to see him with us having a son together. I recently ended a short relationship partly because I was often thinking of him. So this is what breakups can be. It is messy. I could blame him and say he has been using me, and the truth is he probably has in part, but then I think I have probably been using him too, clinging onto that lovely feeling of closeness and intimacy. So I am not sure what the future brings but I am pretty certain that our future is not together and I need to focus on what God has in store for the next part of my life.

    January 12, 2014 at 8:04 am

  27. joy

    i from USA i want to share my testimony with the world and also thank a great man called dr malawi racum for bringing joy into my life. it started like this,i hard a true lover celled James brown who promised to love and marry me,we both lived peacefully. one day he met a girl celled Betty and he loved her very much and decided to follow her living me behind,i tried all my effort to make him come back to me but he still decided to be with her.one day i saw an old friend of mine that told me about a great man celled dr malawi racum by name and i said let i give it a try and i contacted him, he told me what i am to do and i did exactly as he said, before the next 48 hours my ex lover came back to me if you need the help of this great man you can reach him on his email address SPELLOFSOLUTIONTEMPLE@GMAIL.COM or contact his cell phone number +2348072371282

    January 14, 2014 at 4:01 pm

  28. frank

    Hello friends,my name is frank i want to give thanks to the great okiti who helped me allot in getting back my love and also helped me in my financial problem.i was in

    relationship with Gabriel both of us lived together in love and in happiness, suddenly she just work up one morning telling me that she is sick and tired of me i was so shocked

    and confused cause i never did anything wrong to her still i had to plead to her because i love her so much, but she still insisted to breakup with me, i tried all i could to get her

    back but it was not possible, after she left i was some how financially down i did not know what happened to my finance, so i decided to contact some spell casters which

    happens to be scams, i was frustrated then decided not to contact any spell caster again, one day i was watching a show when i saw a woman named Anna was giving

    testimony on how this great man named Dr okiti helped her in getting back her lover within 24 hours so that was how i decided to give a try and i contacted Dr okiti and told him

    about how she left me and my finance,the only thing he said was that i my lover will come back to me and my finance will come up again, that he is going to do all within 24

    hours, so just decided to watch and see. in the next 24 hours which he said i got a call from her and she was pleading to me that she is very sorry for what she did to me, the

    most surprising thing was that the job i applied for in a company for almost 4 months, they just called and told me that i should come and start the work that am capable of

    doing the job, i was so surprised a tears of joy rolled down from my eyes,i was very very happy and she just came to my house and she started pleading to me, so i accepted her

    apology and now we are living happily together now, and am working in the company now am happy again. all thanks to Dr okiti for helping me and for making my dream to

    come through. for help and for appreciation you can contact Dr okiti through {dr_okitispelltemple@hotmail.com}. Or cell phone number +2347064807821 ..

    February 7, 2014 at 8:30 am

  29. Lyev Mahrk11111

    Being attracted to the same sex in countries like USA,UK Canada is really easily as i have heard.There are still people there who don't like people like us but it not as bad as that of Russia cos here we are beaten jailed and sometimes even killed.You can't hold the hand of the one you care about in the public so as to avoid been harassed we can even set a place to me cos if we are caught we face jail time.Here in Russia we gay are prisoner in our own country.I am currently in a relation with my fiance and we had to leave Russia to be together.Before now his parent were against our relationship cos they had no idea he was gay we sneaked around knowing the risks if we were to be caught.When he finally got heart to tell him family the rejected him and asked he stops seeing me or they were going to turn him in and that scared him a lot his father is a very powerful man in Russia and he made it possible for him not to be able to live the country i mean as long as you have money in Russia anything goes.I was lucky they never got to meet me cos if they did i would have not been here right now writing this article that you are all reading.Probably i would have been in jail.Months passed and there was no way we could see each other cos they had him watched to make sure he is never get to meet me and also to know the person the was he was practicing this profane act with as they called it.They stripped him of all his right to the family assets and made him an outcast i could see he was suffering form the text he was sending me they made his life miserable and made him end our relationship.I knew he was confused and did know what to do to get his life back to make his family see him the way they use to.And i knew that his family were never going to accept his life style cos they are so anti gay.If they were to be a fund riser to fight gay practice in Russia his family will be the first to ask that they host it.I love him so much but he was scared of him family and they also had a grip on him.I know most person don't believe in what about to say but still if it wasn't for Mutton Osun a spell caster that i found on the internet i would not have been writing this.It happened maybe by a slim chance or fate that i was a blog were it happened that i read three distinct comment about how he help them with similar problem.I contacted him with an email address that was in the comment.I asked Mutton Osun to cast a spell to make my then boyfriend to make up his mind to run away from Russia with me to be together and also his family as in his father to make it possible for him to leave Russia with me and set a very comfortable life for us were we were going.And i know doing spells with someone you can't even see is outrageous but i promise you he makes you feel more at else when he calls and he really goes through with his promise cos he did with mine he was really helpful to him and kind.And like other people said he doesn't even charge you for what he is doing for you.I had to provide some list of materials that he asked that i get for my spell casting.I preferred that i sent the money down to him cos they were not easy to find and even when i found them it was so expensive but he could get them cheaply.He instructed me on how to make the spell work with great effect.It took 7 seven day and night to see it result.On the seventh night my boyfriend call me to tell me we could finally be together cos his father did agreed to do all i asked mutton osun to make him do i just knew at once it was Mutton Osun spell cos it what i asked for and now me and fiance are the happiest right now we can hold hand now without fear of being harassed or sent to jail for we are in love and we are very comfortable here.His father made sure everything was set before we even got here just like i asked it should be.Am going to also leave Mutton Osun email here just like others have done for contact purpose godsofosunx @ rocketmail. com

    August 5, 2014 at 4:32 am

  30. BRUNELDANATO11

    Probably all this testimony you read about spell casting online are spam right?And yeah some are spam some think all of them are spam which is totally not bad and i also know some believe spell casting really works but have not been able to find the right one. Well i think i found the right spell caster Metodo. I know he is real not cos he helped me but because i was there in his temple i Have seen him and his temple and i tell you it can't get more really that what am writing now. I know you may want to know why and what lead me to contact a spell caster i am a south African woman here in south African as a matter of fact in Africa having a male child is like the most important thing in a marriage and it turned out that i am married to a very traditional man as in a he believes the male child carry the family name on and on but the females get married and change there name which is true. I were married for six years and i had no male child for him. Maybe friends and family filled his head with a lot of things like i don't have a male child for him and as a result he need to get a divorce and get another wife that can bear him a male child. I always thought the people that filled his head with this ideas where is family and friends the people that i smile and dine with. The very people who ought to have advice him rightly. I never found out if they where involved in wanting to ruin life and my marriage. Not because i could not find out but cost i didn't want to develop hatred for them cos i will always get to see them and it is not really healthy seeing the faces of people you hate. At that time, i mean before i knew my husband got himself a lover i was paranoid about him having a lover cos our lives changed a lot he starting coming home late he wouldn't touch me any more and even he started avoiding me in our home making up excuses to stay all day in his study room doing nothing and telling me his need something off to clear his head. We had fights all the time i brought up the matter if he was see someone else. Maybe he got tired of lying i don't know he finally asked for a divorce. A divorce my family saw him through his university and got him a got job i told myself and now he's asking me for a divorce cos i don't a male child yet for him. He was ready to let go of his three beautiful daughters he asked that i take them along. Maybe he was a real f**l and didn't know what he had and maybe he didn't deserve someone like me but one thing was crystal clear to me i was still in love with him and i wanted a complete family for my kid that and the fact that i raised him from the gutter i didn't care about any of his problem when i married him and i forgot to say my father never approved our marriage but still i jumped into it thinking we are going to have each other forever. Though we are still together now but its cos of the spell i had metodo cast on him to make him see how much he needs me in this life. When i contacted metodo he asked that i get the materials for the spell which i did and delivered the materials to him in person that is to say i came in contact with him. I was to return in to his temple in 7 seven day and within those seven day he gave me a blessed a red candle asking that i command and say whatever i wanted every night within those seven days which i did on the seventh day when i returned to metodo temple he gave a harmless powerful substance with instruction on how to use it. This might seem like fiction or lie or what ever you lucky reads may think but deep down you know it true you just looking for a way not to get involved. I ve got my husband back and my family life couldn't be better thanks to the spell though i don't have a male child for him at least his them lover bore him one. contact him with his email if you want his help metodoacamufortress @ yahoo. com

    August 18, 2014 at 9:43 am

  31. Martin Scott

    Hey my name is Paul although Paul is really not my name i wish i can tell you my really name but i don't think it will be wise to do that. I have a big happy family my wife with my two boys. They are my all and all in this world. My miserable life would have be over a long time ago if not for them and my wife is the most, let me just say that she is wonderful. Like very marriage we always had our own problems she wanted me to be always around her and the kids but i work at the embassy. It so hard to avoid coming home late and living very early first thing in the morning i though she understood that. Quitting was not an option cos i love what i do and more over my pay is really beautiful. To an extent i lead my marriage into the problem we found ourselves i should have tried harder i should have not assumed that all was well when all indication showed that they weren't. Honestly i owe my happiness and improved marriage life to Metod Acamu a spell caster that help get my wife back cos she was on the verge of leaving for another guy a fashion photographer. Now that i am thinking of it, she left me for the guy she was with him for months before metodo helped me with the spell that brought her back to me and my boys. I use to think money makes every woman stay but no she in are awesome nature proved me wrong. All she wanted was to be loved just as how she loved me and i failed. All those while i was at work all day long, she felt too lonely that she fell into the arms of the photographer. Her mind was made up she wanted a new life with the guy she was sure he would give to her all i could not give her. Every thing happened all of a sudden that i didn't get a chance to try and fight for her she just left. I was glad she left my boys with me and was not going to war for custody of them at least it was way too early for that. For months i thought that i could leave without her as long as my boys were with me but we missed her mostly me. I never needed anybody the way i was in need of my wife to return back to me. We still talked during our short separation but each time i bring about us as a topic she always find an excuse to end everything. Honestly i don't know if she was mad at me or she was no longer in love with me anymore. As scared as i was to loss her, i took a step to contact Metodo Acamu to help me get her back. I first heard about him on the internet there were quite a number of comment about him on blogs and even on Facebook so he just seemed like the perfect person to help me out with my problem at that moment in time and just as i thought , he was the right person. You may not all agree with my method but when you really desperate you can go to any length to get what you want. That was pretty much were i stood at that point in time. Metodo was wonder with me, he promised he was going to help me get her back and he did just that for me he was candid with me. He made it clear to me that he does not charge for anything he only need the materials he listed for me to get to enable him get the spell done and also told me it was almost going to be impossible for me to get the materials. Like he said the materials are not that way to force us to pay anything there are just want is needed and also you can bring the materials to his temple yourself or get the materials ever you are and mail them down to him or like me give him he money to get them which i promise you is less expensive and more stress free. All this happened few months back but now, my family is back together and we are happy just as we were before. You can also read all other comment on the internet about and how Metodo Has helped a lot of people. This was not written to make you contact him by force it just to share with whoever cares to read how i got back together with my wife and family but if you must contact him use this email { metodoacamufortressx at yahoo dot com } use this email in the standard email form. I kept it this way to enable comment here

    November 26, 2014 at 7:14 pm

  32. Carol Thomas

    I met my husband in my first year of senior high. Its not like i met met him during my first year of being senior , it was more like we started dating during that period in time. It was the first time in my life i felt like my heart was going to explode when anyone touched me or kissed me. I knew i was in love with him and there was no way of saying that i wasn't and i also believed that he loved me just as much as i loved him. In more sense i could mistake what we felt as something magical. We planned our lives together thinking and knowing we are going to be together forever and nothing was ever going to tear us apart. But life being as it is, we woke up and reality set in. Although this month made it the 9th year since we have being together, last year was brought us series of problems. Professionally, i am a medical doctor and he is an art painter so there is no way on earth i will always be around because its the nature of my profession. I always made sure i spend most of my free time with him and not friends. As much as i love him, i also love saving lives so it was so selfish to ask me to choose. I will never ask him to choose between me and his art work because i knew how much he loved painting and how much he loved me also. O well that is all history just wanted you all know what caused our problem. I can go on and on telling how selfish he was towards me and my profession but it will be pointless. In the end i found out he was seeing someone else even if we were still married. I only knew about three months after they started their affair. And his reason for cheating was that he needs closure that i made sure i gave each time i was home with him. All that needing of closure speech could also be rephrased as he was tired of us and needed someone new after eight years of been together. I wish i told him he was never going to see me again but it was the opposite he ended us there and then. Call me crazy or whatever, i knew in my heart that if i had let him go like that i would never had found love again. A spell caster called Metodo Acamu help me cast a spell to bring us back together. I know it sounds hypocritical to even mention i used a spell to get back together with my husband because for goodness sake i am a medical doctor and i should know better than that but it true along with every other testimony about Metodo Acamu spell you have all seen on the Internet. Like most of the testimonies you may have read, i never intended on contact a spell caster but desperation drove me to am only glad i contacted the right one. He only asked me to provide four materials that i can not disclose which i was to mail to him through DHL or UPS but i decided to just send the total cost to him Because firstly my job does not permit me the time secondly some of the materials where not even found here in Chicago or the united state as a whole while other did not just go down with me to actually send via mail. But i promise you his spell worked. We are more in love than ever before just like when we first started dating and our relationship is more healthier that it ever was. Its been six months since Metodo Acamu help me get back together with my husband and like i said his month made it our 9th year of being together. I will his email contact here for mailing purpose { metodoacamufortressx[AT]yahoo{DOT}com } note:use this email the way you use yours in the stand email format

    January 10, 2015 at 2:16 am

  33. magret dAWSON

    Good day.I just want to use this means to talk about a good news to the entire world on how i got my husband back.I was going crazy, mad and confuse. when my husband left me for another woman last month,But when i met a friend that introduce me to High priest ozigididon the great messenger to the oracle that he serve,I narrated my problem to High priest ozigididon about how my ex love left me and also how i needed to get a job in a dream company.He only said to me that i have come to the right place were i will be getting my heart desire without any side effect.He told me what i need to do,After it was been done,In the next 24 hours, My ex called me on the phone and was saying sorry for living me before now, my lovely husband called me to be pleading for forgiveness,I was called for interview in the company were i needed to work as a senior officer..I am so happy and overwhelmed that i have to tell this to the entire world to contact His highness High priest ozigididon at the following email address and get all your problem solve..No problem is too big for him to solve..Contact him direct on: highpriestoziigididon@gmail.com and get your problems solve like me.

    January 10, 2015 at 3:17 pm

  34. Baldwin Willard1

    From my observation i noticed most people think spell casting is all and only Spam.Yes you can say that almost everything on the Internet is more or less Spam this days.I could have with no two thought said just that last year but Metodo Acamu a spell caster made me see there are still few good spell caster out there.Before now, i wasn't a good father or a husband.I almost lost everything i had.As a matter of fact i lost everything i had.I lost my two kids and my wife and my job because i am an alcoholic.I was mostly always drunk throughout the entire day i pushed everybody away that really wanted to help me my wife my friends my mom i was just all about the alcohol.For two years i lived just being a drunk who had no one and who had nothing to live for, i was totally useless.When i realized myself it was rather to later even after i became sober and started fixing my life.She was remarried and living happily and wanted nothing to do with me.I wanted my wife back and wanted to be a part of my children life.Me wanting back my family was not only a step to get my life back together it was also a step to prove to my wife though i am an alcoholic, i can stay sober and be responsible for her and my children. Heaven knows i tried all i can to prove to her that i have changed and i am ready to love her with my life just like how it was before i ruined it.I got her back even with the help of Metodo Aamu a spell caster i was referred to on the Internet. Whatever.Whatever he did for me made my wife and my kids come back to me.All that was required from me were materials needed for the spell casting.I wish i can write in detail about how all this happened to make those who need help believe that spell casting can yield good result but it really about the heart if you think Metodo Acamu can help you with your problem contact him here{ metodoacamufortressx[AT]yahoo{DOT}com } note:use this email the way you use yours in the stand email format and i promise you, he can take all your troubles away, As his spell casting is harmless and don't have any effect in ones life.

    January 18, 2015 at 6:04 pm

  35. Anja

    This article and the comments (minus the spam) have been such a blessing. I’m feeling the aftermath of my breakup now and it sucks. I was reminded to turn my eyes and my heart back to God after reading this. Thank you

    January 27, 2015 at 8:08 pm

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    June 23, 2015 at 10:39 pm

  37. Max Arden

    Hey!

    I stumbled upon goodwomenproject.com and, as a small business owner myself, I thought I could share a super useful guide with you that literally changed my life. I used to let the small tasks rule and haunt me; I’m sure you know feeling. Now I get my shit done early, set a schedule, and spend the rest of the day relaxing or hanging out with my girlfriend. Not only does it make for a better life, I’ve found that I’ve actually been more productive! I’ve done almost double in sales since starting this guide last month! Anyways, it’s really interesting, all the points about energy and money he makes, and how it all starts with putting the right fuel in.

    Check it out: http://debonairmillionaire.com/2015/11/11/the-definite-guide-to-getting-shit-done/

    :) Have a good one!

    November 17, 2015 at 10:19 am

  38. You discussed a nice topic thanks for sharing with us

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