They Do Exist.

Most Embarrasing Dating Stories + A BOOK GIVEAWAY!

Editor’s Note: Today we are featuring Renee Fisher‘s new book release: Not Another Dating Book. I LOVE Renee’s story, and she’s been so generous to giveaway THREE copies of her new book, as well as to share with us some hysterical “terrible date” stories for today’s post. To enter to win the book giveaway, LEAVE A COMMENT WITH YOUR EMAIL ADDRESS. Thank you! – Lauren

So you think your date was bad? After being single for eight years you would think I could laugh in the face of Valentine’s Day. Not so much. I hated that holiday more than any other, and naturally assumed all chocolate and flower companies came together to make us poor single girls feel bad. (Not that I can’t buy myself Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups and bright red, orange, and pink gerber daisies, but whatever!)

When I wrote Not Another Dating Book as the answer to my single woes, I felt it was a mantra to all things singles struggle with. For instance, learning how to laugh while you’re still waiting. Why? Because Humor in relationships is important. Very important. My favorite part of the book are all the most embarrassing date stories I collected from across the country from dates gone wrong.

This Valentine’s Day, no matter which side of the fence you find yourself, let’s choose to laugh and here are some quotes to help you do just that!

* * *

My date was twenty minutes late for coffee, and when he finally showed up he sat down and started talking about his goals and plans for the future. He wanted to be a high school teacher in a small town in Iowa, he wanted at least six children, and he wanted his wife to be a stay at home mom. “What do you think?” he said. “You up for it?” I replied that I was hoping to have a career after college, and he shrugged, stood up, and left. –Stephanie, 20

I’d asked this guy out for coffee, and I thought he understood that it was a date. We met at a coffee shop on campus and were having a great conversation when he started to look all nervous and twitchy. He nodded over to the door, where another woman had just walked in. “I’m thinking of asking her out,” he said. “What do you think?”—Gillian, 25

It was my first date with this guy I’d liked forever. He took me to Olive Garden and ordered salad without dressing for us. I looked surprised, and he informed me that “Dressing’s really fattening. I don’t think you need it.”– Shelli, 28

I went on a date with a guy who ended up dining and dashing. I was sitting at the table waiting for him while he went to the “restroom”…and then I looked out the window to see him outside the restaurant waving at me, signaling me to run out and leave! I ended up paying for the entire meal myself. –Christine, 28

I went over to my date’s house to pick her up for a dance. She got in the car and I proceeded to try to back out of the driveway with the emergency brake still on. Her parents, grandparents, and siblings were all standing there laughing. –Ethan, 20

My ex-girlfriend had just broken up with me, but couldn’t find a new date to her homecoming dance. Her mother called my mother, and my mom forced me to take her. It was awful. – Nathan, 28

My boyfriend took me for a picnic in the park after it had gotten dark, not realizing that it was illegal to be there after sunset. He’d just leaned over to kiss me when a policeman showed up and demanded to know what we were doing. – Emily, 21

I was set up on a blind date, and I was only told the guy’s first name. When he arrived, it turned out to be an ex-boyfriend. Our breakup hadn’t been a good one. He stormed off, and I sat there feeling awkward. – Kelly, 31

In the middle of dinner my date got up, said he was going to the bathroom, and left the table. He was gone for half an hour. I started to wonder if he’d ditched me, but his jacket was still on the chair and his phone was still in the pocket. He finally returned with some excuse about feeding the parking meter, acting like nothing was wrong. When the check finally came, he whipped out a two-for-one coupon. “I bet you’re glad I have this,” he said. “Otherwise I wouldn’t have taken you to a place this nice.”—Andrea, 23

I was on a date with a guy I met on eHarmony. It was really uncomfortable—we had nothing in common, and I had more chemistry with our waiter. As the date was ending he looked at me and said, “So how should we pursue this?” I told him I wasn’t interested. – Chelsea, 26

I spent the entire date calling a guy by his twin brother’s name. Worst date ever for him and me. – Bethany, 32

Note: To enter to win a copy of “Not Another Dating Book”, LEAVE A COMMENT WITH YOUR EMAIL ADDRESS. The giveaway will be open until Monday at midnight. We will announce the 3 winners on Tuesday. To purchase her book, or read more about it, you can find it here on Amazon. – Lauren


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107 Responses

  1. Loved this post!!!! Really interested in the book :) sahilyreyes@gmail.com

    February 3, 2012 at 1:18 pm

  2. This looks awesome. =) contact@lauranoelle.com!

    February 3, 2012 at 1:24 pm

  3. Jess

    Great post! Made me laugh for sure :) jessicaphenson@gmail.com

    February 3, 2012 at 1:25 pm

  4. The humor in this is awesome! Such a good reminder to keep your head up and laugh along the way! O man I got some stories to! Thanks for sharing this post! vivalavidaphoto@gmail.com

    February 3, 2012 at 1:26 pm

  5. Timber Ebersole timberebersole@gmail.com

    February 3, 2012 at 1:27 pm

  6. ylnanna

    Love encouraging laughter! I'm pumped for this giveaway! riannamae90@gmail.com

    February 3, 2012 at 1:28 pm

  7. Laura

    Those are awesome (terrible?) stories! klemmla@gmail.com.

    February 3, 2012 at 1:30 pm

  8. The book looks great! yelosubmarine88@yahoo.com

    February 3, 2012 at 1:30 pm

  9. Kelly

    Excited for this book! kellysergent@yahoo.com

    February 3, 2012 at 1:30 pm

  10. mary s.

    this is awesome! can't wait to read it! mshelt02@leeu.edu

    February 3, 2012 at 1:32 pm

  11. Bianca Pastrana

    Bianca.pastrana@gmail.com :)

    February 3, 2012 at 1:34 pm

  12. Amanda

    Would love to read this!!! amanda.roose@gmail.com :)

    February 3, 2012 at 1:40 pm

  13. I was just introduced to Renee’s website yesterday and I’m already loving everything I’m reading. Laughing it off instead of being grumpy or bitter on Valentine’s day is a great idea! Loved this.

    Monica.gerges@hotmail.com

    February 3, 2012 at 1:41 pm

  14. Sue Rafferty

    Sounds like a fun book to read! sue.rafferty@hotmail.com

    February 3, 2012 at 1:47 pm

  15. natonice

    Ahahaha. Good stories brightened my day :)

    Natonice@hotmail.com

    February 3, 2012 at 1:49 pm

  16. stefanie

    laughter is SO important! Sounds like a good book. Citystef@yahoo.com

    February 3, 2012 at 1:52 pm

  17. Bethany

    I really could use this book!
    Bethanylynnsmith111@gmail.com

    February 3, 2012 at 1:53 pm

  18. Jocelyn

    Thanks for these great stories! Let’s all be encouraged to find joy in where we are, not In where we want to be. Jocelyn.ridenour@gmail.com

    February 3, 2012 at 1:53 pm

  19. Jess

    "Learning how to laugh while you’re still waiting" Hmm… sounds interesting! :)
    jessaminepacis@yahoo.com

    February 3, 2012 at 1:58 pm

  20. Kaneka

    Sounds AWESOME! One of the stories sounded very familiar, like a date I had been on once. Can’t wait to read it! krw_design@yahoo.com

    February 3, 2012 at 2:12 pm

  21. Annika

    Would love a copy of the book too. annika@swissmail.org

    February 3, 2012 at 2:12 pm

  22. gan

    gancim21@yahoo.com

    February 3, 2012 at 2:22 pm

  23. Bethany

    My entire family loved this! always.musically.yours@gmail.com

    February 3, 2012 at 2:23 pm

  24. Jen

    If you can't laugh at yourself who can you laugh at? Loved the stories!! jenfritz76@yahoo.com

    February 3, 2012 at 2:27 pm

  25. Joanne

    Loved the stories, I needed a good laugh! spring4rain2009@aol.com

    February 3, 2012 at 2:51 pm

  26. Those are some rough stories. Glad I've never been on a date that bad!

    chelseaggilliland@gmail.com

    February 3, 2012 at 2:56 pm

  27. Kelsey

    keparks@eiu.edu

    February 3, 2012 at 3:36 pm

  28. mooney89@gmail.com

    February 3, 2012 at 3:38 pm

  29. Carmen

    Sounds wonderful!! :] cuharmo7@gmail.com

    February 3, 2012 at 3:46 pm

  30. Weslea

    Loved this! weslea.nicole@gmail.com

    February 3, 2012 at 4:02 pm

  31. leeleegirl4

    Sounds like a great book. The first date stories were hilarious. rainbowfluff@aol.com

    February 3, 2012 at 4:10 pm

  32. Taylor

    Love the stories :) And I'm always up for a good read! tmhewell@gmail.com

    February 3, 2012 at 4:15 pm

  33. Grace

    I would read this book over and over again! Too funny! grace.elizabeth2218@gmail.com

    February 3, 2012 at 4:24 pm

  34. laurainhungary

    Awesome! Love the article! lau.nic@hotmail.com

    February 3, 2012 at 6:13 pm

  35. Thanks for doing this giveaway! njoyspontaneity89@yahoo.com

    February 3, 2012 at 6:51 pm

  36. Brittany

    I worked at a summer camp with a guy who became one of my pretty good friends. When he asked me to hang out with him on our day off, I didn’t think it was a date because we weren’t going anywhere that he would have to pay for anything. But almost as soon as were together he starts confessing all of his past sexual sins that he wanted me to know before he began to court me. And his definition of courting was “to try to win my heart whether I liked it or not… So despite my objections, I had to hear him out.

    AWKWARD!

    February 3, 2012 at 6:56 pm

  37. Annie

    borden.andrea@gmail.com

    February 3, 2012 at 7:13 pm

  38. Katie

    Hilarious! Loved it all. =) katie.kerchal@gmail.com

    February 3, 2012 at 7:17 pm

  39. I LOVE THIS! I’m sure I have a few of my own to share!

    February 3, 2012 at 7:17 pm

  40. LOVE this already! dearbethany@gmail.com

    February 3, 2012 at 7:52 pm

  41. Lindsay

    Sounds like something that would make the next couple weeks a lot more amusing :) lindsay.spell@gmail.com

    February 3, 2012 at 7:57 pm

  42. Anna

    haha! great anecdotes! palindrome_1185@yahoo.com

    February 3, 2012 at 8:24 pm

  43. Megan

    I love hearing bad dating stories! yourloveisasong(at)gmail(dot)com

    February 3, 2012 at 8:45 pm

  44. Nadia

    Super curious to read/laugh at those dating stories since I haven't been on any =] cmsnadia@yahoo.com

    February 3, 2012 at 9:36 pm

  45. Anita

    oh – much too funny! thanks for the chance! dawessel@shaw.ca

    February 3, 2012 at 9:41 pm

  46. Hannah

    The stories were so funny – would love to read the book. heboning[at]uncg.edu

    February 3, 2012 at 9:52 pm

  47. Aubri

    This is awesome! aubri.gardner@gmail.com

    February 3, 2012 at 10:17 pm

  48. Amanda

    Oh, this should be good. :) daydreamer211@frontier.com

    February 3, 2012 at 10:28 pm

  49. Sarah

    Looks fun! sarahcarey12 (at) gmail (dot) com

    February 3, 2012 at 10:34 pm

  50. diana.rausin@gmail.com I really should have had mine in there.. it could win awards.

    February 3, 2012 at 10:47 pm

  51. bloomofhope

    love. RockwellK08@gmail.com

    February 3, 2012 at 11:10 pm

  52. jessica cornwall

    Haha awesome stories would love to get a copy of the book. How about eating dinner with a guy that asked you out and getting a text from your best friend half way through that he is on the sex offenders list for rape? Wasn’t funny at the time but funnier now that I look back on it, two weeks later….

    February 3, 2012 at 11:23 pm

  53. Ashley

    acpapania@gmail.com

    February 4, 2012 at 12:40 am

  54. Adiel

    I'm sitting here laughing but at the same time hoping to never experience those. adiel18th(at)gmail(dot)com

    February 4, 2012 at 12:43 am

  55. michellehudlin

    loooks sooo cool imperial_elizabeth@hotmail.com

    February 4, 2012 at 2:20 am

  56. Philippa

    These are excellent, thanks for the laughs! :) philipparball@gmail.com

    February 4, 2012 at 7:01 am

  57. Esmerelda

    Great Post!! :D esmeraldaslp@gmail.com

    February 4, 2012 at 10:14 am

  58. Esmerelda

    Sounds like a very interesting book! brendaslp@gmail.com

    February 4, 2012 at 10:40 am

  59. These stories are hilarious! I love it! lovewokemeupthismorning@gmail.com

    February 4, 2012 at 10:56 am

  60. Olivia

    A nice guy at my college asked me out for coffee at this cute little place on a Friday night, and I went (even though I barely knew him…) We were having a great time, just talking and cutting up in general about random stuff, and he says, "So, do you think he (our WAITER) is cute?" I was like, "Are you serious??? No…" My first thought was, maybe he is the possessive/jealous type? But when the waiter came back, he said something real flirty to him, and I was like, "I'm sorry, are you HITTING on our WAITER?!" He was like, "OMG do you think he would be into me??" I was so confused…I tried to play it really cool, like nothing was wierd at all! But I was so glad when that night was over!

    February 4, 2012 at 11:28 am

  61. leslie

    Sooo funny!!! Leslieaseaman(at)gmail(dot)com

    February 4, 2012 at 11:53 am

  62. Kaia Mogen

    Hilarious! kaia.mogen@gmail.com

    February 4, 2012 at 11:57 am

  63. worldwithoutthoughts

    loved the humorous stories! nesbitt.rachel@ymail.com

    February 4, 2012 at 1:33 pm

  64. Audrey

    This brought at least one story from my own experiences to mind! Thanks for the lighthearted outlook! audreymlehr@gmail.com

    February 4, 2012 at 2:00 pm

  65. katie

    oh, wow! i have some dating stories to rival those! this book is going to be amazing!

    February 4, 2012 at 2:26 pm

  66. Angela

    Had a good laugh!! angela.park@ymail.com

    February 4, 2012 at 5:21 pm

  67. Marissa McPhail

    Haha loved this post! needed a little laughter today!! M.rissamcphail@gmail.com

    February 4, 2012 at 5:42 pm

  68. Ashley

    This made me smile, reminded me of one of my date when I was in the middle of talking and walked straight into a pole.
    dayminfarah@gmail.com

    February 4, 2012 at 7:45 pm

  69. Michelle

    laughter really is the best medicine, I truly believe it can cure anything :) I've read a few different posts related to this book, and would really, really like to read it! Please pick me!! michelle.bafunno@gmail.com

    February 4, 2012 at 8:36 pm

  70. Stephanie

    Great stories!

    smileyflute05 (at) earthlink (dot) net

    February 5, 2012 at 12:00 am

  71. Delilah

    delilahpa@gmail.com

    February 5, 2012 at 1:26 am

  72. Jessi

    jrexroad@elon.edu

    February 5, 2012 at 9:33 am

  73. :) taylormspear@yahoo.com

    February 5, 2012 at 10:07 am

  74. rachelbacaling

    I love your writing voice. <3 I thought these things were no-brainers, obviously I haven't read you.

    rachelbacaling@gmail.com

    February 5, 2012 at 10:17 am

  75. Crystal_N_L

    Loved the stories. My worst date ever was when a guy I knew from a family friend at church, took me on our first and last date to his church didn't introduce me to anyone didn't sit next to me and his church was radical! I was looking for a way out and end the date. Finally we arrived back at my place and he said call me and we can you know go out on another date I shook my head and politey said No, what I wanted to say not ever again. star2001heart@yahoo.com

    February 5, 2012 at 11:51 am

  76. Gardenia

    Nice post! Had some fun reading these stories. gardenbh@gmail.com

    February 5, 2012 at 7:11 pm

  77. miranda.gehrke@gmail.com

    February 5, 2012 at 9:28 pm

  78. Amanda

    Would love to read! Alrae26@yahoo.com

    February 5, 2012 at 11:07 pm

  79. Sarah Gantner

    Love this site!!

    February 6, 2012 at 12:28 am

  80. Ruthie D.

    Oh man! This post was amazing. I'm really interested in your book, as I honestly have never read a Christian dating book I'd recommend:) dean.ruthie@gmail.com

    I'm now inspired to write about my first Valentine's experience:)

    February 6, 2012 at 10:55 am

  81. Kimberly Farnham

    Oh my gosh, those little snippits of pure joy just made my morning! I'm definitely in. kimberly.beth.farnham@gmail.com

    February 6, 2012 at 11:22 am

  82. grace

    hahaha i love how we can laugh after awkward situations! eturke@live.com

    February 6, 2012 at 11:39 am

  83. Absolutely love it! My worst "almost date" experience (There haven't been many) would be when one of my customers began speculating on my age. He landed on 17, proceeded to tell me he was 42, and then asked for my phone number. Needless to say, I told him no. thelaurenjean@gmail.com

    February 6, 2012 at 12:19 pm

  84. kalinrenee

    So glad I haven't had a date as bad as these. kalinrenee@gmail.com

    February 6, 2012 at 12:36 pm

  85. Now I'm worried that if I haven't experienced the bottom of the barrel yet, it's still out there! I'll be reading this book for some hope :)

    February 6, 2012 at 12:52 pm

  86. Karlina

    Great post!

    February 6, 2012 at 12:55 pm

  87. wateredsoul

    Wow some of those dates sound horrendous. Sounds like a very interesting book. bnredeemed{at}gmail{dot}com

    February 6, 2012 at 1:32 pm

  88. It's safe to say that I NEED this book. amanda.n.mcmillan@gmail.com

    February 6, 2012 at 1:46 pm

  89. Carolyn

    Sounds like my life. clarson0109@hotmail.com

    February 6, 2012 at 1:52 pm

  90. It does my heart good to read of others' dating woes. This whole thing called dating can be so awkward sometimes, but I guess that's half the fun of it. newlifecalu@gmail.com

    February 6, 2012 at 2:36 pm

  91. Lindsay

    burt.lindsay@yahoo.com …love it!

    February 6, 2012 at 2:59 pm

  92. Sarah

    Poor things! But such funny stories! fisher.sarah15@gmail.com

    February 6, 2012 at 5:25 pm

  93. Christabelle

    Christabelle_bitgood@hotmail.com

    February 6, 2012 at 7:19 pm

  94. Sarah

    Laughter really is the best way to get through it…read the summary of the book at amazon and looks like a really cool book!

    smorris513@gmail.com

    February 6, 2012 at 8:02 pm

  95. Andrea

    mindingthegap(at)hotmail(dot)com

    February 6, 2012 at 8:35 pm

  96. Emily

    Loved it! haha EmSe228@gmail.com

    February 6, 2012 at 9:01 pm

  97. Kristen

    I've been dreaming about writing a book just like this with all my girlfriends. Now I'm just as excited to read this one, I just love awkward!! kristenmjensen@gmail.com

    February 7, 2012 at 2:38 am

  98. Oh man could I use a read like this right now. Jennifer.b.jobe@gmail.com

    February 7, 2012 at 3:05 am

  99. Breezy

    How hysterical. I thought I only had bad dating stories! breezycaye@yahoo.com

    February 8, 2012 at 12:34 pm

  100. Becca

    "awkward' takes on a whole new level w/ these stories, at least the "breakups" didn't begin w/ elementary school skating parties!

    February 11, 2012 at 6:21 pm

  101. I couldn't believe it when he actually asked "Is crazy making me drugs?"
    I knew then that things weren't right.

    February 12, 2012 at 2:13 am

  102. Miranda Frisbee

    Loved the stories! Forced homecoming, coffee shops, eharmony, dine&dash! Enjoyed it a ton :)

    February 12, 2012 at 11:39 pm

  103. chelsea

    I'll just add to the bunch: My most interesting date was a rushed, between shift, almost dinner time meal at L&L's Hawaiian BBQ. When we made it back to the theater where we both worked, my dad was there and we ALL ended up watching Hurt Locker (a movie about disarming explosives in Iraq). -.-
    chelseagenack @ gmail.com! I'd love this book!

    February 13, 2012 at 12:28 pm

  104. mariam

    this post is ver funny ,,thank u
    drmariam88@yahoo.com

    February 15, 2012 at 3:45 pm

  105. Narimere

    Suddenly I don't feel so bad about never having gone on a date…

    (real name: Lauren)

    eleth_ispel@yahoo.com

    March 28, 2012 at 2:33 am

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