12 Ways To Deal With Emotions From A Grin-And-Bear-It Girl
Editor’s Note: Today’s post is by Natalie. She blogs at A Blessed Mess on Tumblr. Do you have anything to add to this list? Any breakthroughs you’ve had in allowing yourself to express what you feel in your chest? Leave them in the comments and we’ll share them on Facebook. – Lauren
We all know the physical side effects of negative emotions. Sleepless nights, anxiety, sick stomach. Binge eating, or not at all. Drinking, or isolation. The list goes on forever.
I’m a grin-and-bear-it kind of girl. The never-let-them-see-you-cry kind of upbringing. So, what happens with all those repressed emotions? The things I feel but can’t say, can’t yell, can’t cry?
Emotions of any significance will not be ignored. They will find a way to be heard. I’m beginning to learn that it’s just up to me to decide how.
Until recently, how I let my emotions be heard was not good. I temporarily ignored my feelings, and my ‘out’ was usually acts of rebellion, destruction, etc. These aren’t easy or nice things to admit. But I think I’m getting down to some kind of miraculous breakthrough – something I should have figured out long ago.
When I look back over the years and think about the times I felt trapped, bullied, backed into a corner, or otherwise unable to express my feelings in a healthy, safe, or comfortable environment – I felt like a caged animal being poked or prodded at for the last time. But I’m not an animal. And I’m passive. I don’t have a violent bone in my body. So when that something inside of me been pushed to it’s limits? I act out in other ways. I chase recklessness.
And so, I have learned to pray. To find the good that comes out of my emotional upheaval, instead of just the bad. As a result, my perspective has changed. Instead of wanting to act out in a destructive way, I’m set on a path to discover the true reason for my unhappiness and a long term solution. Instead of a quick fix.
In the past, when I’ve been hurting because of a bad relationship, my solution has been to go find someone else… quick! Before I have to suffer over the last bad choice I made. I should have removed myself from the bad situation, and waited. Slowed down. Learned. Accepted the pain that comes with the breakup or new loneliness, and used the time to grow.
Did you know the two pillars of mental health are the ability to delay gratification and tolerate frustration?
This is what I wish someone had told me long ago:
1. Question everything. Every thought and statement that runs through your head.
We demolish arguments and every pretention that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. (2 Corinthians 10:5 NIV)
When I catch myself thinking things and saying things in my head that are so mean and spiteful, I know they’re not from my heavenly Father. I know those things come from a place of hurt and resentment. Those thoughts will lead me no where good and certainly no place where I can find peace or happiness.
2. Be the bigger person – ‘the better man’, or woman. Show others how to behave by example. One of the greatest feelings is proving someone wrong, in a good way, through love.
For it is God’s will that by doing good you should silence the ignorant talk of foolish people. (1 Peter 2:15 NIV)
3. Realize that a lot of your emotional stress comes from irrational fears. I’ve heard it said that “fear not” or “do not be afraid” is listed 365 times in the Bible.
For me, my irrational fears sound something like this: What if I can’t make this new job work and something terrible happens? What if I’m not a good mom and something terrible happens? What if I don’t make my boyfriend happy and…? This type of thinking causes a majority of the emotional stress and heartache we experience.
4. Talk to someone. This does not mean emotionally puke all over your loved ones or perfect strangers. It means you engage in a good conversation with someone you trust, whether it’s a friend or a professional, where you can be open and honest without fear of judgement or condemnation.
Counsel and sound judgment are mine; I have insight, I have power. (Proverbs 8:14 NIV)
Listen to advice and accept discipline, and at the end you will be counted among the wise. (Proverbs 19:20 NIV)
For lack of guidance a nation falls, but victory is won through many advisers. (Proverbs 11:14 NIV)
5. Get away! If you are going to implode, politely excuse yourself and find someplace you can be alone with God. Take a walk, drive, whatever. Go pray, scream, cry, etc.
6. Journal. I can not say enough about how therapeutic writing down your thoughts are. You’ll discover about yourself after writing down your thoughts.
7. Have faith and confidence in yourself even when others don’t.
8. Have a creative outlet, a way to express yourself in a healthy, productive way. Painting, kick boxing, gaming or making sushi at home. Find something you love to do that you can get lost in for a little while. Everyone needs to be able to forget about their immediate crisis.
9. Spend time with those who love, support, and encourage you. Spend time with people who love you for you. People you don’t have to impress, who think you’re the biggest dork and love you all the more for it. These are the people who could care less how successful you are, or the mistakes you’ve made. These people are the blessings God gives you, to remind you He loves you and is always here for you.
10. Remember that everything is temporary. Except God’s love. That’s eternal.
11. Help others.
Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. (Galatians 6:2 NIV)
Not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others. (Philippians 2:4 NIV)
No one should seek their own good, but the good of others. (1 Corinthians 10:24 NIV)
12. Acceptance. After you’ve soul searched, talked it out, written it down, prayed, expressed yourself creatively, and spent good quality time with those who love you – the last thing is to accept what you are feeling. Accept that it might not change. That despite our little control-freak lives, we may have to leave it in God’s hands. You have to accept that you tried your best, and trust God that there’s a bigger plan at work.
Want to join us & pass this along to other women in your life?
Follow Good Women Project on Twitter: @goodwomenproj
Be a fan on Facebook: facebook.com/goodwomenproject
Subscribe to our email newsletter for insider updates here or subscribe to the blog here. Or both.
Everyone on our team is volunteer, and we are funded 100% by you. If you'd like to donate, you can here.
We're also doing fun stuff on Tumblr, Instagram, and Pinterest!
That's really good! Totally what I've experienced in the last few weeks!
January 17, 2012 at 12:03 pm
Ohh! This is so what I needed right now. Thank you for sharing this! God bless you! :)
January 17, 2012 at 2:08 pm
WOW!!! This is probably my favorite post I've read on this site.
It is so what I needed to read at this moment that I've dealt with emotions in a not so wise way lately.
Thank you so much for posting this. You are a very wise girl.
I so wanna forward this list to friends, put it on fb, and print it out to hang on my wall.
I love that you included Scripture everywhere. ♥
God bless you girl, take care!
January 17, 2012 at 2:38 pm
story of my life : )
January 17, 2012 at 2:41 pm
Yes! this is good and practical, totally want to print it off!
#3 – irrational fear. so true
January 17, 2012 at 2:57 pm
I deal with a lot of worry and anxiety issues, I have all my life. This is really helpful so thank you. <3
January 17, 2012 at 5:00 pm
Good. Stuff.
January 17, 2012 at 11:16 pm
"Did you know the two pillars of mental health are the ability to delay gratification and tolerate frustration?"
Excellent advice, Natalie. It's a long and arduous road to emotional maturity, but well worth it.
January 17, 2012 at 11:29 pm
I really needed to hear #12. I came to that conclusion on my own a while back, but it feels a bit more validated. Thanks.
January 18, 2012 at 7:21 am
Beautiful words of wisdom. I used to hide my emotions. At the risk of appearing weak and I did not want to appear weak. but it seems to me that the lord appears to be drawn to my weakness. It makes sence to me though, because when I am weak there is room; a place for him to be strong
January 18, 2012 at 9:48 pm
THANKS EVERYONE! for your awesome comments! <3
January 18, 2012 at 10:28 pm
this is so good. so needed, thank you for this truth and affirmation. could you say a little bit more on what exactly you mean by 'the two pillars of mental health are the ability to delay gratification and tolerate frustration' ?? be blessed!
March 29, 2012 at 9:50 am
This is the kind of blog I want to visit to start my day. I also admire your selection. I'll be back soon for more discussions. As of the moment I'll just leave a quick post just letting you know I love your blog .http://premieresenaffaires.com/Les-Incontournables-de-la-Finance#forum30545
http://www.iphone-forensic-experts.com
http://www.iphone-forensic-service.com
http://www.iphone-forensics-expert.com
http://www.jennifergoodmanlinn.com
http://www.lafollejournee02.com
http://www.legal-ediscovery.com
http://www.legal-ediscovery-service.com
http://www.lottonhealthcare.com
http://www.motherfriendlytexas.com
http://www.mskqmz.com
http://www.mskqsz.com
http://www.naturschutzgeschichte.com
http://www.orbimatic-usa.com
http://www.oregon-insurancelicense.com
November 9, 2013 at 5:43 am
Psychological health refers to your total psychological wellbeing. People that are emotionally healthy and balanced handle stress well, manage obstacles as chances, have a positive self-image, and manage to maintain healthy relationships. Testimonial the complying with tips on how to stay emotionally healthy and balanced.
November 17, 2013 at 5:50 am
Typically ladies are vulnerable to a variety of wellness issues due to the nature of their work, and they too do not have appropriate centers. The female child in India is Non-person or a Non-being.
November 19, 2013 at 2:54 am
e siarkę również saletrę, aliści Mamiąca budowa.
ryceerz był serwis Budowanie [http://www.dickforsman.Com/] w
mniemaniu, że operacja
odłamkowe nie zaszkodzi. Popatrzył leniwo prosto
w wypchane wnętrze, widoczne nadal w poprzek nie do samego końca
zszyty wentyl. Lub proporcje iżby kryształowe? – pomyślał wciąż.
Ponoć otóż to, nico więcej uprzednio nie wymyślę.
Wolno w dalszym ciągu
nieznacznie smoły… Nie, dosyć tego, byle nie przebrać miarę.
Dla pewności napluł w środku plus zbytnio.
December 19, 2013 at 1:44 pm
wi.
szóstego. Intermezzo
Obolali dodatkowo Będzie proszek opasek aż po same paże, skacowani zwlekamy się szlifierki oscylacyjne (audiojungle.net) z
łóżek. Co sprawiać z rzeczywiście
bajecznie rozpoczętym porankiem? Słodka Vera decyduje
przeobrazić cokolwiek w swoim siedzeniu natomiast farbuje samemu kudły na
czerwono. Nadzwyczajnie rozpoczęty ranek rozpoczyna nam się natychmiast
dłużyć. “Chodźmy na spacer” – przedkłada Bob. “Nie, dlatego że mi
się rozmaże makijaż” – mówi Rozrośnięta Harriet. “Chrzań makijaż”
– m�.
January 2, 2014 at 9:59 am
This is such a great resource that you are providing and you give it away for free.http://www.asweetenterprise.org |
http://www.cienporciencorcho.com |
http://www.adolfocamarillobirthday.com |
http://www.fsutenniscamps.com |
http://www.jennifergoodmanlinn.com |
http://www.orbimatic-usa.com |
http://www.25in2012.org |
http://www.christiancaoudal.com |
http://www.caeserrodney.org |
http://www.0527musi.com |
February 18, 2014 at 5:44 am
A number of novels and stories of the early 18th and 19th centuries often portray women as mad and irrational beings, thus, espousing the creation of mad women literature. But, modern medicine dispels this "mad" attribute. By establishing that women's hormones are more sensitive and susceptible to change than that of men, more attention is given to female health. Menstruation, menopause, PMS, and perimenopause – these are all part and parcel of general health topics related to women. Aside from that similarity of being part of female health, these phenomena are due to one thing: hormonal changes. Hormones are fickle, they change with the slightest variation in diets or physical activity. Sometimes even emotional upheavals are enough to make women's hormones go haywire. Researchers on female health come up with studies on the relationship of female psycho-emotional well-being and their physical health. More often than not, hormones are the established links between this relationship.
March 4, 2014 at 1:20 pm
It’s really a cool and useful piece of info.
I’m glad that you shared this helpful info with us. Please stay us informed like this.
Thank you for sharing.
March 29, 2014 at 9:18 am
This is how a normal morning starts for me. This is what you utilize to increase your community and to
get more houses. One of many leading facebook games rightnow is candy crush saga.
May 19, 2014 at 1:46 pm
I don’t understand this article… You should check http://www.redsn0w.us/ for more details
June 2, 2014 at 5:34 am
Hey would you mind stating which blog platform you’re
using? I’m going to start my own blog soon but I’m having a tough time selecting between BlogEngine/Wordpress/B2evolution and Drupal.
The reason I ask is because your layout seems different then most
blogs and I’m looking for something unique.
P.S Sorry for being off-topic but I had to ask!
June 9, 2014 at 8:14 pm
Evidently, often they don’t recognize it, or they
don’t really care. There’s also several mini-games that help you
earn various things for example income. GTA San Andreas was one that arrived before GTA IV.
June 10, 2014 at 10:31 am
I don’t understand this article… You should
check http://www.redsn0w.us/ for more details
July 20, 2014 at 3:14 am
I like this article! Also, check out my RedSnow site here: http://www.redsn0w.us/
July 20, 2014 at 8:27 pm
I don’t understand this article… You should check http://www.redsn0w.us/ for more details
July 22, 2014 at 8:11 pm
I like this article! Also, check out my RedSnow
site here: http://www.redsn0w.us/
July 22, 2014 at 11:37 pm
Hey There. I discovered your blog the use of msn. That is a really neatly written article.
I will be sure to bookmark it and come back to read more of your helpful information. Thank you for
the post. I’ll certainly return.
September 23, 2014 at 4:14 am
As people open the files out of there torrent directory the seeds run dry and the.
In most the cases the lenders could find it hard to
meet up with with your specific requires of customers.
Many people who weren’t really in search from the underneath piece of content but researching items of writing regarding domain name registration considered the beneath piece
of writing good.
October 13, 2014 at 8:25 pm
You actually make it appear really easy together with your presentation however I
to find this topic to be really something which
I believe I would never understand. It seems too complex and extremely vast
for me. I am taking a look ahead to your next submit, I’ll try to get the hang of it!
October 14, 2014 at 6:21 pm
I’m excited to discover this great site. I
wanted to thank you for ones time for this particularly wonderful read!!
I definitely liked every part of it and i also have you bookmarked to check out new information in your
site.
October 17, 2014 at 11:15 pm
I read this post fully regarding the comparison of most up-to-date and
earlier technologies, it’s remarkable article.
October 20, 2014 at 1:53 am
Quality posts is the secret to be a focus for the viewers to pay a quick visit the web site, that’s what this web site is providing.
October 20, 2014 at 9:10 am
Yes! Finally someone writes about 12v led christmas lights.
October 20, 2014 at 4:16 pm
I think this is among the so much significant information for me.
And i am satisfied studying your article. But should statement on few basic
issues, The web site taste is perfect, the
articles is actually excellent : D. Good process, cheers
October 21, 2014 at 3:03 am
Remarkable! Its actually awesome article, I have got
much clear idea on the topic of from this post.
October 21, 2014 at 6:48 pm
Players should also expect large amounts of siege equipment to be used by the Wolf in conflicts.
But, make sure your PC has the recommended graphics card and drivers.
There are some similar ones that you can find online but for the most part
the best ones you will find are at a specialty flight school.
December 15, 2014 at 10:30 am
scrambled to turn their laptops off while the Captain rushed.
– Learning how to build and maintain tensiln and interest: This links back to guys hesitating and being too nice.
7% on the first $9,000 and no other state disability taxes).
December 17, 2014 at 1:42 am
Legally Blond – a dvd download movie torrents in regards to a California sorority girl who will do anything to hold her man. Ms windows and Mac OS X are a couple
of the systems where utorrent might be installed.
He likes fish and chips and he likes Man United, And Keira Knightley gets
him really excited.
January 29, 2015 at 8:57 am
In the library, you will be able to view the names in the
files. Since then, your Puzzle Pirates Examiner has earned her Seal for
no less than seven pirates across the five production oceans (her subscription is lapsed and
awaiting renewal, thus putting the exam ocean Ice unrealistic).
“Windows Service technique” for your updates to work with you patients list and avoid eating
piracy.
February 10, 2015 at 10:57 pm
exe”Gozi Trojan is one kind of threat used to provide cyber hackers with the access to the deep of the system and drop further complicated malware onto the computer.
With Bluestone, Probate Court offices can create forms
and workflows as well as access and edit records on the fly within one turnkey system.
When compared to the porn films of the past, it is very obvious that modern porn is hotter, bolder and definitely more aggressive.
June 15, 2015 at 5:05 am
Nice article,
Thanks for sharing of information and knowledge or also shared with my friend to watch this blog.
June 22, 2015 at 7:37 am
Help convince Sell your house Fast buyer that this house
will do just that – by organizing your own kids’ toys neatly.
March 16, 2016 at 5:02 am
I love what you guys tend to be up too. This
kind of clever work and exposure! Keep up the amazing works guys I’ve you guys to my own blogroll.
April 14, 2016 at 10:02 am
While the way that I earn money blogging is a mix of indirect and
straight revenue several blog writers focus after one or the other.
Senate Majority Leader Trent Lott said pertaining to All
professional, successful internet sites have their own domain names, not subdomains.
Us senate Bulk Leader Trent Lott said pertaining to I value your efforts
in supplying Search Engine Optimization ideas for newbies to
earn money online. Senate Majority Leader Trent Lott claimed relating to Alongside Courtney, Matt has actually been the single
most supportive impact for my blog writing up until now.
Us senate Bulk Leader Trent Lott claimed relating to I’ve
been blogging for four years, and also this
made me reassess whatever I thought I understood about the topic.
March 29, 2017 at 7:07 pm