They Do Exist.

Emotions: The Difference Between Feelings And Lies

Editor’s Note: Happy New Year, everyone! We’re launching 2012 with a topic that affects every single one of us women, in some way or another: Emotions. If you want to share what you do with them in your life, and what you’ve learned about them, please check out the contribute page. Today’s post was written by Kayte Grace. She blogs at Long City Walks and you can check out her music at Kayte Grace Music. – Lauren

I used to let my emotions run around in my head like bad kids in a nice restaurant: yelling, tripping, disrupting, and breaking things. But I’ve learned that sometimes I’ve just got to tell them to shut it and sit in the corner.

I’ve always been a person who is ruled by emotions. I’m a singer/songwriter, so feeling things (and making you feel them) is basically how I pay my rent. Before that, I acted for 15 years on TV and in commercials. Feelings.

I’ve always been emotionally impressionable. As a child, movies on TV that showed slaves being beaten would ruin my sleep. At 11 years old, I cried after watching a season of Popstars because I knew that music was what I wanted to do. My parents told me that I get so happy when I cook that I’m literally singing out loud and don’t realize it. I nearly lost my mind once sitting in a meeting next to a friend who was frustrated with how it was being led – the energy she was giving off was so strong I almost imploded, and no one else seemed to notice. I consider myself a master ‘vibe sniffer’. And to top it all off, I’m an ENFP, which might as well stand for Emotionally Neurotic Female Person.

Powerful emotions make me research how much it would cost to get my homeless friend a bus ticket to Cleveland to see family, and to want to pay for it. At the same time, emotions sometimes cripple my ability to live well and securely. I’ll feel so guilty for not wanting to go to corporate prayer before church that I slog through half a day turning my decision not to go over and over in my mind.

One day, I found myself sitting on the couch a half hour before I was supposed to lead a women’s Bible study in my apartment. I had recently gone through a breakup, and I felt like someone had punched me in the face. Lies started pouring in, one after another: “You are rejected. Rejected. Not chosen. This isn’t what was supposed to happen. Your life is off-track. God brought you to this teeny apartment in a scary neighborhood knowing that living near your boyfriend was the only thing that made it bearable, and then He ripped that comfort from your hands and abandoned you here. There’s no point in you being here. And why would God even lead you into a relationship He knew would fail and make you miserable?”

Then, the Holy Spirit reminded me that there’s a difference between letting myself “feel my feelings” and sitting around nodding in agreement while the Devil lies right to my face.

So I lit some smell-good candles.
Made green tea.
Sat back down and breathed really slowly and deeply.

And I asked myself, “What do I know FOR SURE?”

“The person who loves me like a raging fire has all of the power… over the entire universe and everything in it.”

“His goal is not to screw me over – He’s using every situation to make my soul beautiful. More like Christ.”

And that was that.

I established some truth I could stand on.

“Now everything that I don’t know for sure, you need to make an orderly exit from my head. Right now.”

Freedom in truth. Freedom in standing up for myself. Freedom in feeling what is true instead of what is a lie.


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20 Responses

  1. Great post, Kayte! "What do I know for sure" is an important question to ask at the midst of every single crossroad, i believe. It has helped me re-establish what I believe and make the right decisions accordingly.

    Stopped by your blog today and just loved it! ;)

    January 3, 2012 at 6:12 am

  2. Thank you so much for posting this! By the first few paragraphs – it was like you had stepped into my life and wrote about it. (Singer, check. Actress. Check. ENFP. Check.) My friends (who of course are mainly guys) tease me all the time about how I have so much emotion. I usually tend to let my emotions control my choices and feel everything for the people around me. Which can be good a thing – because as much as my friends tease me about it, they also say it's one of the best things about me. However – they can't control my life and let them get the better of me. I need to remember those things I know for sure.

    January 3, 2012 at 9:36 am

  3. Melissa

    "there’s a difference between letting myself “feel my feelings” and sitting around nodding in agreement while the Devil lies right to my face."

    I've been on the end of shutting down because I thought emotions were bad, or I shouldn't be feeling what I was. I learned slowly that emotions are indicators of what I am believing in my mind and my heart. And it is so true, that I have to look at what I do know and shut down the accuser's lies.

    January 3, 2012 at 9:58 am

  4. Great post. This is when knowing the WORD is powerful – it's the Sword of the Spirit (Eph 6:17), it's living and active, sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, it judges the the thoughts and attitudes of the heart (Hebrews 4:12).

    January 3, 2012 at 10:21 am

  5. Okay, I seriously thought I was the only one who went through this emotional problem thing, you just encouraged me greatly. I felt like I was reading pages from my life. Thank you for sharing this and being honest! Blessings to you!

    January 3, 2012 at 12:38 pm

  6. hold on…did I write this post??? because FOR REAL I'm pretty sure you and I might be the same person ("I nearly lost my mind once sitting in a meeting next to a friend who was frustrated with how it was being led – the energy she was giving off was so strong I almost imploded, and no one else seemed to notice. I consider myself a master ‘vibe sniffer’"). —> A friend once told me that "spirit of discernment" is a gift, but I have to ask God about that on a regular basis! :)
    Thanks for the reminder that there can only be room for what I know is TRUTH. Awesome article.

    January 3, 2012 at 12:52 pm

  7. enhudson

    This is so beautiful, and every bit of it is pure truth. I've struggled with this for a while. I'm a writer, so it's all about feelings, and those feelings are not always my own. I tend to take on the sometimes melancholy nature of my characters. My mother has always said that happiness is a choice, and I've always gritted my teeth when she's said it, but it's the honest to goodness truth. Imagine what a new year with this perspective could look like! Thanks, girl, for sharing a bit of your heart :)

    January 3, 2012 at 1:50 pm

  8. Wow. Thank you for this post. I felt like I could have written it. And I really needed to read this today…like right this minute.

    January 3, 2012 at 2:30 pm

  9. robynmch

    So powerful, I can relate to this so strongly. I have been completely owned by my emotions for way too long (I'm an INFP) and I've decided this is the year when I start owning them instead.

    Thank you for sharing!

    January 3, 2012 at 3:48 pm

  10. Thank you for the beautifully written blog post. I can also relate, being an ENFP. Before I came to know Jesus, I couldn't discern between what was real wisdom and what was my emotions run amok. With the guidance from the Lord, I can at least see know how to stand on his rock of truth when the emotional rollercoaster is coming. Also, uncontrolled emotions can lead us to easily fall into the trap of sin. Timely post!

    January 3, 2012 at 5:00 pm

  11. laura

    this is so good! writing this in my phone so i can look at it every day: “The person who loves me like a raging fire has all of the power… over the entire universe and everything in it.”

    January 3, 2012 at 5:19 pm

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  13. Totally related to this post! Thank you!

    January 6, 2012 at 10:15 pm

  14. Thank you for posting this. I really needed this right now.

    January 16, 2012 at 11:58 pm

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  16. This great. Thanks!

    December 29, 2013 at 6:27 pm

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