From The Men: A Letter To The Rejected Woman
Editor’s Note: I’ve been reading ‘Repenting of Religion’ by Greg Boyd this week (thanks Emily for the rec!) and it’s wrecking my heart. It’s a reminder of how quickly we’ve fallen away from doing the primary thing Jesus showed us how to do: love. Jesus saw you and me as worth dying for, and we must to see others in the same way, all differences aside. Worth dying for. Worth loving. Today’s submission is by Michael Doyle, and I am so happy to be posting it. – Lauren
I want you to take a good look at yourself in the mirror. What do you see? A little girl? Do you see someone weak, maybe a broken mess? Do you see someone who lacks confidence, your hurts and pains? Do you see what he did to you? Do you see only scars?
I know the world likes to see you for everything you’ve done, good or bad. I know your friends like to bring up the past and tell you that it’s okay to your face, but criticize and slander your name when you aren’t looking. I know that your church loves you when you stay pure, substance free and love God by being perfect and flawless. But this is a letter to the women who have experienced rejection from the church; as soon as you don’t show up one Sunday or let a curse word fly or make a “mistake,” you are shunned or don’t feel welcomed.
This is a letter for the sometimes lost, sometimes broken, sometimes lonely women.
You are labeled by everything you do, and the pressure that is coming at you from every angle can be unbearable. Who can you turn to when everyone has turned away? Who is there to lift you up when you can’t pick yourself up off the bathroom floor?
I will give you the answer to that question.
Jesus is there, every time. Through every drunken night, through every one night stand. Through every curse word, every regret that you have hidden from the world. He is there. He looks past the hurt, pain and scars. He looks for the princess that His father created. He looks for the sister that He saved from death and despair when He hung on a cross to die.
There is an amazing story of Jesus showing grace and love to a woman in the Bible. This woman had a reputation, and leaders in the town found her committing a sin. They pulled her from where she was found and drug her through the square. These men threw her in front of Jesus, ready to thrown stones at her.
Then He turn towards her accusers and asked what she had done.
They repeated her transgressions with great delight, as if exposing her made them feel better about themselves. Jesus said to them, “He who is without sin among you, let him be the first to throw a stone at her.” Jesus bent back down and kept drawing in the sand.
One by one they threw their stones down to ground and walked away, humbled and ashamed. After the last left, Jesus looked up from his drawing, and at the woman again. It was just the woman and Jesus.
What we find strange today is that Jesus was without sin, yet he looks graciously upon us as sinners. He didn’t pick up a stone of judgment or hate or malice or disappointment and throw it at her with all of his might. Sometimes we forget that after all the stones we’ve had thrown our way, Jesus is the only one who won’t. He didn’t turn away from her and run. He didn’t tell her that she wasn’t good enough.
He loved her.
He accepted her for everything that she was. All of the baggage she brought with her. For all of her flaws, imperfections, and wonderfulness. The wonderfulness that comes with being a woman, a woman who is so dearly loved! For the beauty that was created in His likeness. Because you are beautiful, and you are so loved.
And that is what we as men should do. We should love everything about you, never casting a stone. And I’m sorry for those who have. I know there are good men out there, but I know you’ve met plenty of bad ones along the way. Forgive them and don’t cast stones back, either. Commit your life to Jesus every single day; someone who will love you unconditionally. You will find that your purpose in life is so much greater.
So, I want you to take a good look at yourself in the mirror again. What do you see? It is my hope and prayer that you see someone who is loved and accepted. You are someone who is deserving of joy and happiness, who can do anything. You are someone who has the confidence to walk with her head held high. You love your family and friends without holding back. You bare stretch marks from birthing children. You hold and nurture and have abilities to make the world come back together when it feels like the pieces have fallen apart. You are beautiful, you are good, you are a child of God. Perfection, created to love and be loved.
Thank you for being so beautiful and thank you for being you.
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