They Do Exist.

To The Women Looking For a Good Man

Editor’s Note: The phrase “good man” can seem so idealistic, so impossible, so unreachable – for both the imperfect man and for all the women looking for one. Do you know what really makes up a good man? Do you really know that his heart’s relationship with Jesus Christ is infinitely more valuable than what he has and the lifestyle he is pursuing? Jake Dudley writes today on where to find a good man. He blogs here and tweets at @jakedudley. He also wrote I Want The Girl Of My Real Life for us. – Lauren

Am I a good man?

This is a question I muse over very often. One that i ask myself when I’m living out the beauty of Jesus that I believe in so deeply, or also when I’m choosing to ignore that beauty in the name of lust, pride, selfishness or idolatry. And unfortunately, I’m deeply ashamed of the answer I usually deserve.

A good man? How could I be classified as such when I struggle so often with the way I view women? Or what about the times I choose to recklessly abandon my trust in Jesus and take matters into my own hands? A good man? Surely my completely immature reaction to the individual who cut me off on the highway disqualifies me from ever being associated with good men.

These things are very true of me. And if my sin defined who I am, then the title of “good man” would look elsewhere for its keeper.

But luckily, we good men and women aren’t defined by a sin or a standard or a relationship or an image; we are defined by the grace of Jesus Christ.

So what does that mean for those good women out there who are searching for a good man?

It means you have to be willing to find a man who is marked by the grace of a very big God.

A good man isn’t going to be found with those words as his self-proclaimed title. A good man isn’t going to be found wrapped in perfection or riding in on a white horse.

A good man is found humbled, broken and aware of his need of the best man to ever walk the face of this planet.

A good man is found at the feet of who Jesus is.

You see, a good man is marked with a story. And that story just might involve beauty and honesty and courage. But the other side of his tale may also include selfishness, pride and fear. Regardless of the roles he’s played in the story, a good man’s true character is defined by a loving, grace-giving Savior who looked past OUR deficiencies before WE were ever even born and still chose to suffer a brutal death on OUR behalf.

Looking for a good man? Stop looking in a shiny box with a neatly trimmed bow and start looking in the dust beneath the arms of an all-powerful God.

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35 Responses

  1. This is so beautifully written and so true. Thank you Jake.

    March 22, 2012 at 4:36 pm

  2. Amen!

    March 22, 2012 at 6:02 pm

  3. Sarah

    this is a great reminder. thank you :)

    March 22, 2012 at 8:05 pm

  4. Lovely post, Jake!

    March 22, 2012 at 8:32 pm

  5. Phil

    Pumpkins are to fall as keys are to sleep.

    March 23, 2012 at 12:19 am

  6. Hannah

    Graceful :)

    March 23, 2012 at 2:49 am

  7. Leanne

    Reminded me of this:
    "Don’t look for the perfectly healed champion. He’s already waiting for you in Heaven. Look for they guy who is covered with scars from the fight."

    March 28, 2012 at 12:05 pm

    • Ronald Clement

      I am Ronald that is so true what don't kill you will make you a stronger person. good luck girl. call if you need me 985-652-7875 to ashlee

      January 9, 2014 at 12:16 am

  8. Jake, this is a beautiful truth you've shared with us.

    My favorite part? Where a good man is found.


    April 5, 2012 at 7:55 pm

    • frank grass Since day one we've shared something incredible, something that most people only dream of. I had been searching for you all of my life. You have made me the happiest I have ever been. You are sincere, caring, loving man, and Iwouldn't trade you for the world. I am so thankful and blessed that you loved me as much as I loved you

      July 7, 2014 at 6:31 pm

  9. :)

    April 13, 2012 at 8:27 am

  10. harry

    i'm looking for a woman i can love for life…contact me at

    May 7, 2012 at 2:48 pm

  11. Emmy

    #jakedudley is the best. Love this!

    June 11, 2012 at 10:46 am

  12. i like it , and the part that i like is you know god & where a good man must found…. I hope i’ll found mine …. Please contact me or call me @0781612726…

    September 14, 2012 at 5:10 pm

  13. Mannie

    " A good man is found humbled, broken and aware of his need of the best man to ever walk the face of this planet " thank you! thank you for opening my eyes to this reality.

    December 6, 2012 at 4:32 am


      July 7, 2014 at 6:21 pm

    • FRANK GRass Since day one we've shared something incredible, something that most people only dream of. I had been searching for you all of my life. You have made me the happiest I have ever been. You are sincere, caring, loving man, and I wouldn't trade you for the world. I am so thankful and blessed that you loved me as much as I loved you.

      July 7, 2014 at 6:24 pm

  14. Ben

    i am looking for a good woman to accept me for who i am, and it is very difficult nowadays.

    March 24, 2013 at 12:57 pm

  15. MCas

    Agree with article, and reminded me of this post about same topic: where and how females seeks for good males…

    October 3, 2013 at 9:16 am

  16. charles e. thompson

    u wont some come an get u some its all good im jest saying

    November 5, 2014 at 10:07 pm

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    All I want is a man who is going to be there for me any time of my nd in any passion and who will tell me what call love and understanding if u really no u are the one get to me here on williamsarah52 @ I all be waiting for my right man. Pls if u are not real man for me don’t get to me and I give u some pictures when we no each other thank you.

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