They Do Exist.

Rape & Unwanted Sex: A Letter To A Little Girl

Editor’s Note: I have no words today. This ripped my heart out. It was written by Heather Summers. She tweets at @HSS88 and blogs at HSSummers.blogspot.com. – Lauren

Dear Little Girl,

I thought I would take the time today to write to you. I wanted to let you know who you will become and what you will go through along the way of becoming the person you are today.

As you grow up you are going to encounter some hardships. The hardships I mention here aren’t small fights with your sister or failing a spelling test. These hardships are the big scary kind that leave an impression on your heart and mind for all of your life. They carry on to your adulthood where you must either hide them from the world or take the time to work through them and fight for your heart to be healed.

When you are six you are going to lose most of your hearing. It doesn’t bother you much then, but as time goes on it will make things more difficult for you, especially learning how to read, which causes you to feel worthless at times.

At age ten, you will be stabbed by someone who you don’t know. You will deal with the pain from this with jokes, because laughing about things is easier than actually having to deal with them.

At thirteen, you will be assaulted by a waiter at a restaurant that is at least four times your age. He will steal your first kiss. This is going to change your outlook on men and sex. This incident will start forming your opinion of who you are as a soon-to-be-woman. You will start seeing yourself as an object of a man’s desire.

At eighteen, you will be assaulted once again, but this time you will be thrown around, beaten, and called names that will haunt you.

At nineteen, you will be strangled by your boyfriend, who you once thought adored you.

At twenty, you will be drugged and taken to a house where two men will take control over your body. You will wake up in a shower soaking wet with your clothes laid on top of you. This is where the men tried to wash away the blood from your body. They may have washed away the blood, but they did not wash away the pain, bitterness, and anger that will result.

I’m sure you are wondering why I am telling you all of this. I am not trying to scare you. I am showing you that transgressions will happen in your life, but that you are strong. You will get through anything that comes in your way.

Days after you turn twenty-one, you will realize what love is. You will encounter the only way to wash away pain, oppression, and longing for belonging. You will triumph your past. It will take time, Heather. It will take time, but you are stronger than you realize. You will rid yourself from all things that drain you from life and be filled with the only source of life.

I know all of these things I have mentioned sound frightening, but please don’t be scared. You will fight through and you will be a story teller to others. You will be a mentor to the ones going through what you yourself have gone through.

You are not alone, even when you think you are. God did not desire for any of these things to happen to you, but he is going to use your stories and experiences to help the ones that are fighting the fight of being abused, the ones that are longing for belonging, and the oppressed.

You will go through times of doubt; you will feel like you are too broken to help anyone, but thankfully God uses our past to bring glory to his name and to the world.

Please remember that you are worth so much more than you know. Although you have been abused, used, and told you are worthless Р you not defined by your past. You are defined by who you are in Christ.

Use your experiences to shape the world into a place that gives glory to his name and that helps heal the ones that face similar experiences as you.

Love,

Your Future Self


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15 Responses

  1. oh, Heather. :( God has big plans for you. Thank you, for standing back up, fighting hard, conquering, and hoping. Your story both broke and encouraged my heart. Please, don’t stop believing. Don’t stop hoping. :)

    May 9, 2012 at 9:41 am

    • Thank you, Caleb. I truly appreciate your kind words and love.

      May 19, 2012 at 10:20 pm

  2. Pingback: Letter To A Little Girl « Significant Encounters

  3. Wow. Speechless.

    May 9, 2012 at 12:52 pm

  4. I second what Caleb and Ashley said. I'm squeamish, and was hesitant to click on this title today, I'll admit. I was afraid of reading something gruesome. And Heather, this WAS gruesome. My heart burned for you in the worst way. But in you, I don't see a victim. I see a woman whose heart shines with perseverance and the light of Christ. I'm filled with hope and joy seeing that your story has taken a turn, that your identity is no longer marred by these things.

    Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing your story. You are a beautiful, strong, good soul. Worthy of love from the highest of Kings. Never forget it. :)

    May 10, 2012 at 4:49 am

  5. I wish I could give you a big hug from the bottom of my heart right now.
    I pray God keeps you close to their heart always.

    May 10, 2012 at 5:15 pm

  6. Nduku

    Sorry for what you have been through are not the rights words to say. I don't even think there are any "right words". Pain and hurt on what you went through is what I feel, but God's love is amazing…and it is healing. You are loved and you are special.

    May 11, 2012 at 4:56 am

    • Thank you, Nduku. God's healing is such a beautiful thing.

      May 19, 2012 at 10:53 pm

  7. Pingback: Reaching Out

  8. JackeeO

    You have inspired me to write a letter to the little girl in me. You story written in the format is so powerful – thank you for sharing.

    May 19, 2012 at 1:37 pm

    • I am so glad you are going to write a letter to your younger self. It will help bring restoration. :)

      May 19, 2012 at 10:53 pm

  9. Elizabeth

    This blows me away. I am hate everything about that, except for you finding true love. Which, I know you truly have found because when I look at you I don’t see a victim, I see a whole, beautiful, full of glory woman of Jesus! Truly amazing!

    June 4, 2012 at 1:51 am

  10. gabriella

    Wow, Heather. How great is our God!

    June 5, 2012 at 1:51 pm

  11. snickeringcorpses

    Wow. This leaves me simultaneously hurt, angry, and happy all at once. My heart aches for the pain you suffered, yet at the same time I am thrilled to see how God has taken what was meant for evil and used it for good in your heart. The protective part of me instincts to vengeance, but is tempered by something that came up in a sermon last week. The idea that when we feel someone ought to pay for something done to us or another, we can realize that someone already has paid for it, on a cross, and that's the basis for forgiveness.

    I can certainly see in this how God took the evil done to you and shaped it into beauty on the inside of you as you came to know Him. You are loved, my friend.

    June 12, 2012 at 7:09 am

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