Being Single: Rejection.
Editor’s Note: Today’s post is by Anna Norman, and quite honestly, I will never look at “rejection” the same again. Her understanding of rejection and grace is incredible. She is 30, got married at 29, and blogs regularly on singleness and what she learned while waiting at SoTrulyLovely. – Lauren
I recently saw a post on one of my girlfriend’s pages that said that the author of “The Help,” Kathryn Stockett, was rejected over 70 times with her book idea. Of course, many of us likely know where she is now and what happened with the book-turned-movie.
We all know what rejection means: it is the act of being denied, refused, thrown back, etc. What I find fascinating is what it means in the scientific realm.
Rejection for the body means: an immune response in which foreign tissue (as of a skingraft or transplanted organ) is attacked by immune system components (as antibodies, T cells, and macrophages) of the recipient organism.
Funny how it is “built” into us what we are not supposed to want/have unless it is especially made for us. For instance, in order for a transplant to work you must have matching MHCs (major histocompatibility complexes) as well as matching antibodies and blood type.
I call this “grace.” I firmly believe God knows what is best for us and will reward those who wait for Him. Even if we don’t want to, and are faced with rejection again and again.
I wasn’t a girl that was asked out a ton and I certainly experienced rejection. But looking back: I truly have the most beautiful life that I couldn’t have even dreamt of because of God’s grace.
What the world calls rejection, I call grace.
I want all of you to know that when you are rejected, look toward hope because I know God builds up walls around us to protect us and although sometimes it hurts at first, I promise you the reward will sweep you off your feet.
Rejection = Grace..
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That's such a healing perspective, and thinking on it further, I can recall several times when rejection from other people literally was God's grace in protecting me from what I thought I wanted. He knew better than I, and it was grace to sever the relationship that would have been destructive if it had not been cut off.
September 30, 2011 at 8:22 am
As they say, Rejection is protection. The Lord protects our hearts: sometimes it looks like love and other times it feels like the end of the world!
September 30, 2011 at 11:53 am
This post was much needed today. This is something I have been struggling with a lot lately, so it's a great reminder that there is a reason for the rejection, and it means there is something more.
Thank you.
September 30, 2011 at 12:16 pm
It's so true. I remember praying that God would open the eyes of a certain man so that he could see me. Of course the natural conclusion was that he would then fall madly in love with me. Many tears were cried when he asked out one of my best friends. A number of years later we met again, and all I could do was thank God for that rejection. My life with him wouldn't have been bad, but it most certainly would have been bland.
September 30, 2011 at 12:59 pm
LOVE this. Never thought about rejection that way.
September 30, 2011 at 1:08 pm
Hmmm, rejection leaves more opportunity to find what you really need. What is built for you. I like that concept. I'm sorry though, I disliked Kathryn Stockett's book and movie, but I'll let you pass for that :)
September 30, 2011 at 1:13 pm
Amen sista! I love this insight. I never thought about rejection=grace before, but in my life it most certainly has. This guy I was "i love with and begged for God to allow him to pick me" (if I sound desperate…i was)–never chose me. He chose another girl with long brown hair and brown eyes. WHY NOT ME? And now, I am married to the man of my dreams–and see how God protected me from that relationship to give me His ultimate best. http://www.ruthiedean.com
Amazing grace!
September 30, 2011 at 1:14 pm
I LOVE THIS!!!!
September 30, 2011 at 4:12 pm
Wow! What a great way of looking at this. Thank you for sharing!
September 30, 2011 at 8:12 pm
wow just what i needed.. Am stil single and the times am rejected i start to feel really hopeless and hurt but now i know Gods only protecting me for a greater good..thanx for your post
October 1, 2011 at 3:29 am
Wow, what a great site. This is my first visit. but I'll be back. I'm not single and I'm one of those "married" women who should probably sign up to be a mentor. I don't think I've found you by accident….
Now, I'm off to find you on Twitter.
October 2, 2011 at 11:04 pm
Let me ask you this all you brainwashed women, for over 25 years I studied the Bible and believed that God was compassionate to those who are rejected, poor and sad. Tell me this, what scripture in the Bible gives man any kind of punishment for going out with another woman sleeping with her? none. It’s actually been legal from the beginning for men to have more than one wife – plus concubines- ( mistresses) . The Creator God said men can have as many sex partners as they want but not so for the women-that equaled death. iIn Scripture men are superior to women and they act as such in the world today as much as then. Religion is the ‘opiate of mankind’ and when I say of mankind I mean of mankind, not women. In all religions women are subservient and inferior and under man. Tell me one religion where woman is equal as a human being to a man? The God of creation sanctions violence in islam and any kind of power over a woman in Christianity and Judaism and she has to take it because the man is her master. I’m sorry, it took me a long time to open my eyes to this fact because it’s a harsh world, but I can no longer worships a God who hates women so much.
August 27, 2012 at 5:36 pm
I'm sorry you seem so hurt and angry. I think you might be believing lies about life that are not included in scripture.
Please prayerfully reconsider the following truths:
God loves men and women equally.
He made one woman (eve) for one man (Adam), and said his creation was good.
Though he permitted/tolerated the kings (like Solomon) to have many wives (as was considered a cultural norm for royalty at the time), this was never part of his original plan or desire for his creation. This is confirmed in the New Testament when Elders/Deacons/etc. are required to be "a man of but one wife". God knows that marriage works best with only one man and one woman. Adding others to this mix only produces trouble.
Solomon's example was not prescriptive of God's best for us, but an honest description of how Solomon chose to live. And this lifestyle that Solomon chose brought upon him his own destruction. He compromised his values to please his many wives, to appease their false gods, and His heart turned away from the one true God. His life of great wisdom and accomplishments ended with wrong beliefs and pithy sayings about the "meaninglessness" of life. It was really quite sad.
God is all-knowing and deals with judgement and punishment in his own wisdom. He knows best how to extend grace and judgement, and none of us will escape this. Whether any man or woman receives the punishment we think they deserve (in our timing), only God knows their hearts/actions, and his ways are better than our ways. Let God be God, and let him be the judge. He is much more holy and wise than we know. He will judge each of us according to our deeds, and in his own timing.
Here is a quote of yours:
"In Scripture men are superior to women and they act as such in the world today as much as then."
In scripture men and women are equal in value. Neither of them are superior or more valuable than the other.
Both men and women (in the past as well as the present) have the ability to behave as if they think they are more superior to the other, but this is their own pride and sin that minimizes the opposite gender to elevate their own. God sees us both as equally sinful and in need of his grace.
God made them male and female and called them good, until our sins brought fear, shame, judgement, and pain into the world.
Although men and women are equal in value, God has designed us to compliment one another with different God-given roles/responsibilities.
We have equal and differing strengths. Men are more protective and women are more nurturing. Both were made in the image of God. Both have value. Both are good. But they are very different strengths.
When God gives a man "authority" over his wife, it is not a statement of superiority or higher value, but a high-calling to love, honor, protect, and provide for her health, growth, and well-being. His "authority" is similar to a sheriff's badge to watch over and protect his city/his bride. His job is to love his wife as Christ loves the church. He would die for her if need be. But he needs the full power, authority, and cooperation of his wife to fulfill this responsibility to her. This is the OPPOSITE of superiority! He is placing her needs above his own. He is lifting her up! He is esteeming and valuing her with his very life. He is using his God-given "authority" to serve, protect, provide, and love her as God does.
There is a great dynamic combination in the world between AUTHORITY and RESPONSIBILITY. You can't separate the two!
When you take away the sheriff's badge (his power and authority) he also loses his power and ability to fulfill his responsibilities. To expect any man to be responsible for your well being (to sacrifice or die for you) without allowing him to exercise his full power and capability (authority) to do his job well, is like tying his hands behind his back before a shoot-out. You are setting him up for failure. He needs his badge, both hands, and his gun if he is going to shoot the bad guy, do his job, and protect his city/bride.
Both his authority and his responsibility are designed to serve her. When she fights his authority, she is unwittingly undermining his ability to protect and provide for her as God designed. A foolish woman tears her own house down.
I won't pretend that this world is perfect or that all men live in the full potential of their callings/abilities, but I believe that there are MANY good men who want to become the men God has called them to be. These good men are looking for and praying for women who will ALLOW their husbands to exercise their full-authority of their husband roles / job descriptions / responsibilities. When women try to wear this "authority" badge themselves, never trusting God or their husbands to look out for their well-being, they are also taking away his power and ability to fulfill his responsibility to her. They are tying their husbands arms behind their backs and setting them up for failure.
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Throughout our lives, we encounter rejection from those around us—those we love, those we respect, and those in authority over us. Regardless of age, gender, race, religious background, or social status, everyone experiences rejection of some sort. What varies from one person to another is the impact of that rejection upon and within their lives, emotions, and relationships. Dr. M. Stanley Butler tackles difficult aspects of rejection, common to many of us—perhaps, common to you—and reveals that even these things are a small part of a greater purpose and design. With an application of spiritual truths, he empowers you to excel and overcome in spite of those who have failed to realize your true value and potential.
Your enemy desires that you would be rejected and embittered, but even these things cannot derail your purpose or your destiny, because none of it occurs to God. He watches over a plan whose end was declared from the beginning and ensures that every failed relationship, act of abuse, and unfulfilled promise works for your good. There are victories you have yet to realize, and God is waiting to reveal this truth…Sometimes, Man’s Rejection Is God’s Protection!
http://www.mstanleybutler.com fb.me/20c9nuNmF
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