They Do Exist.

What I Learned About Being Unforgivable In 2011

Editor’s Note: Today’s post was written by Kristin Veiga. She tweets at @Kristinveiga. Forgiveness is so simple and so available in Christ, but so difficult for us to grasp. Beautiful post. If you want to share your story on what you learned in 2011, check out our Contribute page. – Lauren

I rang in 2011 this past year as an agnostic.

I believed there was a God, but that’s probably as far as it ever got.

I believed that I didn’t want or need God in my life.

I was wrong.

On May 28, 2011 my best friend, Joseline, and I were having a sleep over. She is a Christian, but had never explained the gospel to me. Coincidentally, some of her friends were having a party on the same night so we, desperate for some fun, decided to go.

Little did I know that everyone at the party was going to be Christian.

To this day I have never been in a more uncomfortable situation. I did at that point acknowledge the existence of God, but it meant nothing to my life. No one at this party knew that I was a “sinner” and not the “oh a little white lie won’t hurt” type but the “I smoke a lot of marijuana, I drink too much, and I’ve had sex” type.

I thought I was a sinner among saints. Again, wrong.

However, I did fall in love with these people the first night I met them. But I didn’t think they could accept me the way I was. I didn’t think God could accept me the way I was.

The next day was a Sunday and I was really curious about why the people I met at the party were so nice and loving, so I decided to give church a chance. I was in so much trouble. I don’t remember what the pastor spoke about that night, or why it impacted me so much but that night I prayed to accept Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior.

But something still wasn’t right. I didn’t believe Jesus could love me after all that I have done, all the hurt I had caused, all the sins I had repeatedly committed. I felt that no matter how good I was from that moment on, that when the time came where I met God at Heaven’s gates that He wouldn’t let me in because of my sins.

Again, I was wrong.

That same night I met a man who through the words of God forever changed my view on who God was and who I was to Him. He introduced me to Romans 5:8. “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” After a few more minutes of talking, he left and I was left alone to my own thoughts.

I kept thinking that God’s love for me was impossible. I was so broken, so messed up, so lost. He couldn’t love me. But He did.

That night I truly learned the meaning of why Jesus died on the cross. It was for me. Not because He had to, or because He simply didn’t want to live anymore, but to forgive me. Through His actions of Love I am now and will forever be forgiven. Not just of my past sins but of my future ones too.

I also learned that the people at the party who I thought were so saintly and sinless were anything but. They’re human, and they sin whether they are of the world or of God. The only difference is that they know they are forgiven and try their hardest to live a godly life.

Through Him I am now able to use all my past sins and all my future sins and take them and apply them to helping the younger girls in my church when they face similar situations. Because of this, I now see all my sins as a blessing and not a curse.

God, who is so beautiful and mighty, knows how to turn something bad into something great.

I am thankful to be able to ring in the New Year knowing confidently where I will go when I die, that my sins will forever be forgiven, and that He will not judge me on my past mistakes but will be my strong tower for 2012 and the many years to come.

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8 Responses

  1. Ellen

    praise God for another sister!! blessings to you, dear one. May God honor your efforts to know Him better in the years to come.

    December 10, 2011 at 5:21 pm

  2. beautiful story!

    December 10, 2011 at 5:29 pm

  3. Ohmygoodness that's my heart!! I've totally been there and even sometimes still am. Thanks for sharing!! :) God bless!

    December 11, 2011 at 9:26 pm

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  6. You don’t have to be so hard on yourself. All those boundaries are actually made by us. So these boundaries are just imaginary restrictions that puts on oneself. This life as we know it will end at any time. So live it just the way you want it and do not regret it.

    June 8, 2015 at 5:07 am

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