They Do Exist.

Rape: What To Do When No One Believes You

Editor’s Note: If you have been raped, and confided in someone that didn’t believe you, my heart breaks for you. You are not alone. People often choose to believe what keeps them safe, even at someone’s expense. Take heart, grasp your story, and take it to the One who will always believe, because he Sees. Today’s submission is by Mary Shelton. – Lauren

There is something worse than a man forcing himself on you. It’s being told you are a liar when you finally find the strength to tell your story.

It happened when I was sixteen, while my parents were gone out to lunch. He and I had the house to ourselves for a few hours but no one even gave that a second thought. We had been dating for almost four months by then.

It happened in my own bedroom, only taking twenty minutes or so. And then he left. Just left. I laid there, on my bed, for hours. Not a single thought went through my head. It was as if time had just stopped. By the time I finally got up it was dark outside.

My mother saw a hickey on my neck and immediately started grilling me on what I had done. “On what I had done.” Even if I had tried to tell her the truth, she never would have believed me. Her perception had already become her reality. Almost four years later and we have not talked about it. Not once.

The unfortunate thing is, once you’ve been raped, there is so much no one tells you. No one tells you that there is a possibility that people in your life will turn on you in light of the story you tell them.

Photo by Shelby Savage

I didn’t tell my story of that Tuesday afternoon until I was in college. The words just fell out of my mouth during a road trip with several of my closest girlfriends. Sitting at a corner table at KFC I blurted out, “I was raped when I was sixteen” as nonchalantly as one might ask for a napkin. They took it. They took my story into their lives that day.

I thought I was the only one my story would ever affect. I was wrong.

What we fail to remember is that everyone else in your life is also processing what happened, in their own way. And sometimes it gets awkward. The sad truth is that a lot of friendships change somewhere in all the awkwardness.

My closest friend did not believe me. She strung together all the elements of the story in her mind and noticed one or two missing pieces and decided it must be a lie. She decided I must be a liar. It took an entire year for her to tell me of her inaccurate decision about my life. Words cannot describe the ache in my soul. It was the most helpless I have ever felt.

If you have ever been raped, let me tell you one thing. The one thing I would love to go back and tell myself: You are in control of your own storyYou had no control over what happened to you but you are in charge of how it gets told, where it gets told, and whose life it enters into. Choose wisely, choose prayerfully, use your discernment. Someone’s perception of your reality does not have to make it re-write the truth for you. The truth will never be altered, and God is your witness.

God does not want his daughters to live in the darkness, that scary place where we feel helpless and all alone. He wants the light to be where we dwell because it’s where he dwells.

“It is He who reveals the profound and hidden things; He knows what is in the darkness, And the light dwells with Him.” Daniel 2:22

To the girl who has been told she is a liar, the girl who is afraid to tell her story, the girl who doesn’t even know where to begin: Be still and know that God is God. That He loves. That He knows. Choose to walk in the light by being truthful with yourself –  because only then will you be able to stand in truthfulness before the Almighty God.

Take back your story. And tell it again when you are ready.

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46 Responses

  1. Pingback: Processing Memories « Significant Encounters

  2. cantgoon

    Just recentley i went out with my 3 bestfriends to newquay for the weekend on the second night (saturday) all my friends left me outside the club when i couldnt find them i decided to walk back to the hotel! as i was walking i decided i needed a fag and being very drunk i asked a guy for a cigerette he said he had to roll it we were by an alley and there ws a street light at the bottom so he went to do it in the light the next thing i remember is being on the floor with the smell of strong aftershave and the felling of pressure on my chest and a sharp friction like pain up inside! anyways after it all happeend i carried on walking back to the hotel where i saw a street pastor nd the police etc went from there…the thing is even though i turned up to the hotel with police all my best friends have not spoken to me since and do not believe me and i even saw a private joke on one of their facebook accounts about me….now because the police can not find any eveidence my boyfriend who i love dearly and we have been through a lot together in 3.5 years does not belive me what makes it worse is he hasnt for the last 4 days and has only just told me he doesnt believe me he ha sbeen cuddling me telling me he loves me and if anything been treating be better then ever i do not understnad why no one believes me its such horrible thing to gog through and then have the most impirtant peopkle not believ you i just cant face anything anymore i got no friends and now no partner all because of a disgusting vile man i have literally got nothing no family nothin!! the thing is i dont even have the guts to kill myself!! i dont even now why im writing this all i just cnt go on anymore i cope!! i try so hard to pretend evrything is okay specially at work but my eyes are constantly prickiling because im fighting tears all teh time!"" opleae help i just dont know what to do!!!

    September 11, 2012 at 5:02 pm

  3. deguh

    I was raped for was a guy i dated at first but who i couldn’t get rid of, i was agoraphobic and he a psycho stalker, he used to say ‘you dont like sex do you?’ He got to sleep w lots of attractive women as his alibi, nobody believed it. He kept me imprisoned tried to kill me and found a child dead too, he’s still stalking via neighbours. 23 years and he got custody too, our child disabled – big cover up. Terrible horror.

    December 5, 2012 at 11:42 pm

  4. Bri

    I was never raped, but something similar happened to me. My stepdad moved in with us when I was nine and we used to be close. He’d give me and my sister “massages” at night. Around the time I was 12-13, he began using this time to molest me. I didn’t understand what was happening, and then I denied it to myself the entire year or so, but then it got to the point where I couldn’t stop thinking about it, and I started to hate him. I went out of my way to avoid contact with him, and I was very mean when I did see him, and I constantly pointed out his flaws to my mother (he is very controlling). My younger sister told me it had happened to her once, and then I finally told someone – my cousin. A few months after that, I told myself I had to tell, for the sake of my 3 year old half sister, so that would never happen to her. I worked up the courage to tell my mother, and she screamed at me for being a liar, that I was making it up because I had “self esteem”issues and because I’d apparently always hated the guy. My sister denied what she told me, and I was banished to my dads house to live. When I told my dad, I had never cried so hard in my life (I am ordinarily very stoic). Later, he said he thought my crying sounded fake. My cousin heard about this and called cps, who decided that because my stepdads biological daughters and my sister said nothing had happened to them and because my mother, who is perfectly sane and genuinely cares for her kids and SHE said I had told myself a lie so many times I actually began to believe it, that that must be true. So now not only do I get to live with the shame of what happened, and the breach of trust on my stepdads part, I also am privy to the knowledge that the people closest to me – my mother, father, and sister – cast me out when I needed them the most and believe I’m the sort of person who would lie about something like that for revenge. (although I have always had a reputation for being honest). I even used to wonder if I was just crazy, but then my sister told me that she had lied to cps because she just wanted everything to be normal and to please not hate her. So yeah, I definitely get how you.feel…

    January 5, 2013 at 6:54 pm

  5. Jamie Beckman

    As a child I grew up in a broken home. Father was an alcoholic, mother was a church lady who turned a blind eye to everything.

    – I was first touched off/on from 6-9 I was touched by my older female family friend/neighbour, who use to sleepover, and in the middle of the night would touch my vagina, or have me touch hers. Another female neighbour who I was also good friends with, use to show me "sexy things" she would rub her cl!t on me as a child, called tribbing.

    – Date Rape. I was date raped at age 21, not too long after I had an abortion. I knew this guy through a friend and he seemed, so sweet and cool.
    First mistake was that he picked me up…we were suppose to go see a movie and before I knew it we were at his house & he went to fix me a drink.
    Not too long after, I remember feeling hazy/blurry and un-responsive, I was basically a zombie. He performed oral on me, then raped me as I lied there telling him "NO"


    On Monday, February 25th I was up late thinking about my cousins' children and I was wondering why she is always so protective of her daughter. THEN…Everything came flooding back ( thank you repressed memory) …. It happened in the bathroom on the main floor of my house, my family was having a bbq & all my family was there. . My cousin had always "practiced" on me, I never thought anything of it, because I had already been exposed and exploited as a younger child. He then made me perform oral on him, and even tried to penetrate me but right then my father walked in. He never tried to stop it or protect me, and he never said anything.

    It's now Thursday, February 28th 2013 and I just told my mother what happened, she was very stern with me & I walked out of the room.
    I want to talk to someone about this but she doesn't believe me. No one probably will.

    I've had Post Traumatic Stress Disorder for 2 years, after an abortion at age 21. I abused drugs, alcohol, parties 24/7 the whole nine yards.

    I will have to push the memory away and repress it for another 20 years

    February 28, 2013 at 8:35 pm

  6. michelle pope

    I WAS RAPPED 2 DAYS AGO , I DID ALL THE RIGHT STEPS , I feel alone , scarred , confussed , '' pissed off ! '' please i dont no what too do ………… is there anybody out there , i am scarred to death ……………

    March 1, 2013 at 4:33 am

  7. Molested as a Child

    A little over a year ago, during a series of traumatic events in our family's life, I told my husband I believed I had been molested and/or raped as a child. I didn't know who did it but the sensations and a few disjointed memories kept coming a little at a time. Then, on Mother's day this month, my mom told me this: when her and my dad were dating and first married, he raped her two little sisters repeatedly over an extended period of time when they were between 8-14 years old. She only found out when I turned 12 and my aunt finally told her. She divorced my dad at that time. I have huge blanks in my childhood memories and as an adolescent and a teenager dealt with severe depression, eating disorders, self-mutilation, isolation, fear of being alone with my dad, paranoid protectiveness of my baby sister (I refused to let her go see him alone and would cry myself to sleep in her room at night), and self-hatred to the point of being suicidal. When my mother told me about my dad raping my aunts, I felt like I had the last piece of a huge puzzle. His relationship with me has always been cruelly manipulative, emotionally damaging, and manically controlling. He told me things like I was "God's way of punishing him" and was very touchy-feely when I started wearing a bra. I remember sucking on ears when I was about 6 or 8 years old. I remember him showing me a nude photograph. I remember him threatening to spank me with a horse whip and that I was able to stop him but I don't remember how. To this day he is emotionally manipulative and subtly cruel to me. The problem is, I'm the only person I know that he treats this way and no one else ever sees it. He is a respected business owner, an active member in his church, goes every week to "minister" at the prison, hosts missionary families in his home, and has what appears to be a healthy, natural relationship with my younger sister. Until my husband and I started dating, I literally felt like I was crazy. Then my husband (then-boyfriend) asked me "what was up with my dad, why did he treat me so much differently than everyone else?" It was such a burden lifted that someone else actually saw what I saw! I'd try and talk to my sister and she'd tell me I was overreacting or making things up. She does not believe me now that I have accused my dad of molesting me. She wants me to "forgive and forget" and told me that as far as my aunts are concerned, he has "asked for forgiveness" and everyone else just needs to get over it because "that's not who he is now" and I shouldn't judge him by his past. Basically, he's making himself into a martyr just like I knew he would. I had been trying to patch things up with him and he had been spending a lot of time with my 3-year-old daughter. We actually lived with my dad for several months when my husband graduated college and that was when my daughter (then 2 years old) started having night terrors – the same age I was when I began having them. Coincidence? I don't know. It seemed to me that my dad would take her off alone a lot, and I repeatedly found myself going to find them because I was uneasy. She started telling me that I didn't love her, that someone was going to take her away from me, and became excessively clingy and fearful. It also seemed that she started touching herself at a very young age, trying to put toys inside herself and stimulating herself to an excess. I had thought the "age of exploration" was between 3 and 5; she started all this at about 18 months to 2 years. We took her to the doctor as soon as we found all this out and I am going to an advocacy center to try and get my head straightened out. All of this to say, I don't have a clear picture yet but for anyone else going through something like this, you're NOT ALONE. Hell like this is real and if your family won't hear you, find someone who will. Go to an advocacy center, share your story and your fears with a professional therapist, just don't trust those closest to you to see the truth. People would always rather believe an easy lie than a painful truth. But don't question yourself. Be strong, be the hero who speaks out, protect other girls and women from the wolves in sheep's clothing. I hear you. I believe you.

    May 21, 2013 at 8:55 pm

  8. black burden

    Hi I have the feeling I was raped. Correct me if I’m wrong but in primary school there was this dude in my class that seemed to continually try to talk me into having sex so one day he and his 3 friends (all guys) draged me into the bushes and forced me to have sex with me since that day I’ve tryed smoking and self-mutilation and I tryed to tell my boyfriend but he brushes me off and says I’m making things up . What do I do . I’m only 14 years old .btw this happened more than once.

    June 16, 2013 at 6:03 pm

  9. It’s good to have these kinds of articles around to keep the information flow steady. Helping those who really can make things right in the future, good work!

    July 19, 2013 at 2:07 am

  10. I was raped by my sister’s husband when I was 15. He was 33. When I got the courage to tell my family, including my sister, she refused to believe me. Because some pieces of the story “didn’t fit together.” She hired a lawyer against me. I tried to kill myself, so my mom dropped the charges. I wish she had never dropped the charges. Because my sister married him only 2 months after he raped me, and got pregnant with his child only 5 months after the rape. My 1 year old niece is my rapist’s daughter. I am now 17, and I have to see that disgusting man often. But he wont speak to me. Or look at me. My sister is too blind to see. I can never forgive her. My heart is black because of her. He took my virginity, my innocence, my teenagehood. And he told my sister it was just a sick fantasy. And she believed him. And I am forgotten.

    July 28, 2013 at 5:02 pm

  11. An Angry Victim

    I struggle so much with my rape. Every day is a huge battle. I was raped from the time I was a baby up to 13. I told my family about it multiple times during my childhood…ran, hid, cried, fought him away…but no one did anything and the rape continued.

    I told peers at school and up into high school I was beaten, picked on, called names, and laughed at for being raped.

    I told CPS and police who investigated for three months then disappeared. Not only did no one do anything, my family called me a whore, mentally tortured me for being a ‘lier’, forced me to sit in front of them, look my rapist in the eye, and say out loud why I would do this. My grandmother screamed at me for lying and told me what a good man he is and she kniws he’d never do something like this. The rape continued even after that.

    I recently discovered I may never be able to have children as a result of scarring from the rape. I turned to my mother for solice…she told me “It was a long time ago. Maybe it’s time to get over and move on?”.

    I have been ignored, called lier, and shut out all my life…I want so badly to talk about my story…I’d get up on a stage in front of hundreds of people if they’d listen.

    August 6, 2013 at 2:13 pm

  12. Ashleigh

    When I was 15, my high school life was just beginning. I was a sophmore and I had plenty of friends and life was good. My best friend took me to a party on Halloween, where I met her cousin and we started dating. He was a nice guy and we became close very fast.

    My mother was, at the time, a drug dealer/ user. She always had strange people over and family friends that she would let stay the night. My mother used to give us kids sleeping medicine so that we wouldn’t wake up at night while she was gone doing whatever an addict does. I was responsible for getting me 4 other siblings ready for school if she was not there in the morning as my father worked night shift.

    T.J was an old family friend and I treated him as if he were a brother. I treated a lot of the men who stayed at my house when my father wasn’t home as big brothers or “protectors”. T.J and I were close and we would always joke around about stupid stuff. But then T.J changed.

    November 11, 2009 It was a school night so I put the kids down for bed and headed towards mine as well. I was texting my new boyfriend goodnight the first time T.J came in my room. I said” do you need something?” And he replied ” may I use your bathroom?” Of course I said yes and when he went in there he stayed for a long time. I fell asleep while he was in there. When he came out he began to rub on my breast and call my name and ask me to do things to him. By instinct I rolled over and wrapped myself up in my comforter. I pretended that I was back asleep yet he still called my name. Eventually he went out of the room giving up on his wish.

    I had finally gotten back to sleep when he returned this time he was on the other side of the bed where I was facing and my covers were on the floor. I rolled flat on my stomach with my face down on my pillow. He began to run his fingers through my hair and ask me to do things. He rubbed his hand on my private and I closed my legs tight and tried to pretend I was asleep again. My theory of pretending I was asleep worked and he left my room once again at about 11:30.

    He returned in about 15 minutes. And this time he knew I was awake. I was flat on my back and was texting my boyfriend when he walked in. I froze dropping my phone on the bed beside me. He ran his hand up my body from my toes to my mouth. When his hands reached my mouth he pryed it open and forced himself inside my mouth. I was petrified. I could scream because of his largeness. All I could do was cry as he humped my face. When he finished he went into my bathroom and I immediately reached for my phone. I started to dial 911 and he ran out of the bathroom and snatched it from me. He slapped me and made me fall onto my bed. He slapped me so hard that I went to sleep.

    When I woke up, I was being pulled off of the side of my bed. When he saw my eyes open he snatched me and spread my legs apart pushing himself inside me. The pain was overwhelming. All I could do was cry. I was so frightened I couldn’t scream. And the amount of pain and force he was pushing inside of me kept me breathless. I tried to scream once when he stood still to catch his breath but he put a pillow over my face. He began to thrust himself inside me again but this time it was harder and he pushed hard on the pillow that was on my face. I thought I was going to die. I screamed “stop, please stop, your hurting me” He took the pillow from my face and when he removed himself from me something wet began to flow out of my private. He ran to my bathroom and brought me a towel telling me to stay off of the bed. I looked at my clock and it said 3:02 a.m. he cleaned up the floor and then he handed me the towel. It was soaked with blood. I began to scream again. He put his hand over my mouth and said” sshh it will be okay.” He wipped me off while he kept his hand over my mouth. He then my underwear and stuck them in his pocket. He got me a pad and put it in the new underwear he gave me. He slipped them on me and helped me lay down on the bed. He then sat my phone beside me and said ” no one will believe you so don’t bother” and then he covered me up and left me laying there crying. I text my mom and said ” you need to tell t.j to leave” she said ” why, I’m not home” So I called her ,still crying, and told her he raped me. She said I will be there in a minute and hung up.

    I got out of bed and walked down the hallway real quiet and looked through the french doors. My moms friend Shannon was sleeping on the couch. I thought of him as a brother too. And across from shannon t.j was on the love seat on the computer…… I quickly rand to my brother Joshs room back down the hallway. I baged on the door and his girlfriend came out. I was weeping and she couldn’t understand me so josh got up and said what’s wrong. I tol him and he pushed me and his girlfriend into his room and told us not to come out. He ran down the hallway and through the French doors. He took t.j out on the back porch until my mom got home. I ran to the french doors to go wake up shannon but josh girlfriend wouldn’t let me.

    T.j told my mom he never touched me. She let him go. When she came in the house I could tell she was high. Shemade me lie to my father and tell him that the front door wouldn’t lock and that’s how he got in. She asked me if I was sure I didn’t want him to rape me. I tried to call the police but she took my phone and told me to go to bed. The next morning everything was erased off my phone. I called my boyfriend and my best friend. They were the only ones who believed me. I was alone. And now I’m 19 and I got a message on facebook telling me that my mom sold me so that she could get high. I started having night mares again and I can’t talk to my mother because it hurts. Again I feel alone even though I have my husband but I feel like noone understands

    August 10, 2013 at 11:15 am

  13. Julie Douglass

    I was raped more than a year ago by a family "employee-friend". Arturo was our go -to guy and did renovations and repairs on our numerous properties. My husband was out of town, and Arturo was supposed to come to our house to get the swamp cooler hooked up at 4:30. It was more like 7:00 pm when he finally arrived and I was drinking wine on the patio. He asked for a glass of wine and I didn't give it another thought. We talked about all the renovations I had in mind for selling my house, since my husband and I were getting a divorce. At some point, he disappeared for a while and reappeared with two glasses of Mezcal–not my favorite. I didn't want to drink it but he made a BIG DEAL about having just a few sips of mezcal together because we are friends etc…
    I very very soon started to realize the room was spinning. Arturo stood in front of me with my guitar in his hand, which had been in my bedroom, and I Knew that was a complete violation and protested that he stay out of my room. I told him he needed to leave. Probably it was only a couple of minutes later I passed out. I woke up in vomit, with my clothes taken off and all the lights on in my room and my dogs locked outside my bedroom door. Soon I remembered sounds and feelings but no visual images. still don't know if the drug caused me to be blind or my eyes were covered.
    The phone rang early and it was Arturo. How could you have done this to me I asked. I'm sorry Julie, I'm just crazy. then he wanted to discuss a firewood deal with me and I hung up.
    Later in the morning he showed up to fix the swamp cooler on the roof and was up there for several hours.

    I wasn't sure what was going on. I was still drugged. I was completely ashamed, confused, and hurt that someone I thought I knew and trusted could have done this to me.

    I was so confused I look up on the internet "what to do if you have been raped".
    the suggestion to call your therapist was there. So I did. I was completely confused. Later I called my husband and told him what happened. He said don't do anything until I get back. I had a flight already booked for the next day to fly to see my sister and celebrate my birthday. My therapist told me I should go so I did.

    My husband, meanwhile, returned and spoke on numerous occasions with my rapist, his friend, until they apparently agreed upon a plausible story that involved me and the rapist having a loving, romantic fling together.

    Really it has been the most devasting thing of all that my now x husband would believe the raper and continue to be his friend.

    Currently I'm just trying to realize that that my x and my rapist deserve to be forgotten at the same level. I"ve not been haunted by Arturo–he is just a rapist after all– ive been plauged by the fact that a human being who I believed loved me–my husband–would forsake me.

    I'm trying to reframe my husband as someone who clearly did not love me or care what happened to me, in the hopes that I can put this behind me.

    August 20, 2013 at 11:05 pm

  14. Jss

    I can understand your story. When I was five years old a neighborhood boy molested me. His mother caught him doing it and walked me home and told me not to tell anyone because her son didn’t mean it, he just ‘has a problem’. I was hysterically crying and when I got home the mother of this kid told my mom I was crying cause I ‘just had a bad day on the playground’ so she decided to take me home. She told my mom I was fine. I listened to this woman and was ashamed so I never told anyone what really happened until I was 26. A year after i told my sister she ‘friended’ the kids mother on facebook! i got extremely angry at her so she called me and said ‘fine! i unfriended her and i told her its because you told me her son molested you!’ I was mortified. i didnt speak to her for 6 months. the only reason i started to again is because i missed my niece and nephew. i give my sister money for her kids all the time and she never pays me back but recently bought herself a fancy sportscar and new furniture- all the while claiming shes broke, she ‘borrows’ my belongings and the refuses to return them. shes just a witch! always has been.I recently found out that my sister has been telling everyone else in my family she thinks I’m lying about the molestation because it shouldn’t have come out so many years later. She said that my story ‘only came out after everyone knew in town thus kid molests little girls’. First of all, I hadn’t lived in that town for ten years and at the time I told her what happened I was living overseas for two years. I had no idea this guy had abused other girls until SHE told me. I’m finally done with my sister. I worry about my niece and nephew but I can no longer tolerate her selfishness, her constant lying about me and now to call me a liar about such a traumatic event is like being retraumatized all over again. Luckily the rest of my family believes me and not her, but she’s the one I should’ve been closest to! She’s my closest living relative. In my book however, we are done for good.

    August 28, 2013 at 4:54 pm

  15. anon

    My husband has raped me many times during an abusive relationship. He has made sexual references to our daughter which I reported to social service but they will not record. I have now reported rapes and abuse to police and begged them to protect my daughter but they said there isnt enough proof. He now wants custody.

    He will hurt her, I know that. But no one will let me keep her safe. I dont know what to do. She is so tiny and vulnerable. I have begged everyone for help but no one will help. They put the right of contact before the right of safety.

    December 9, 2013 at 7:48 am

  16. anon

    She’s only a baby. He’s tried to take her, now going for custody and I cant get anyone to help me stop this. She is so vulnerable, all the people with no power to help agree he is a danger, all those that do have the power dont want to get their hands dirty.

    December 9, 2013 at 12:56 pm

  17. Me

    I was 16 years old when I was raped by my mom's best friend. Yes, I'm 61 years old now and am still suffering the denial of that rape and accusations of God knows what that I'm a whore and all from my mom and my immediate family. Perhaps my mom was having an affair with this dude. My dad was an alcoholic minister and the dude lived at our home during his "divorce" from his wife. He was in his 40s. I was drugged, raped and the man who did it to me is now in his 80s and my mom still most likely is his bff. In my old age, I've learned that NOTHING can stop a parent from pre-labeling their child as stupid and actually hating their child. I am one of four children and AMAZINGLY have survived my family condemnation and moved one, with my one female child and non divorced state yet failed marriage and all.

    I still suffer emotionally and all. I think not physically because heck, hormones gave me freedom in a way.

    One day I might google the evil dude who raped me and maybe the 2 years younger girl that he must of raped and had children and all might be finally free of his evil, smelly, John Birch, heather ass and all. Oh well, who cares about typos, I really hope his "wife" survives" his shitty ways. She was younger than me, in the same freaking private Christian school and all. SHIT Is there any JUSTICE?

    Yes, back to topic. Rape and incest and all the freaking shit is out there. Young girls and boys…BEWARE!!!

    I'm okay now. If any victims are reading this: YES…you are innocent and YES you ARE or WILL BE OKAY…okay?

    Being extreme politically, religiously or any way extreme is radical and NOT HEALTHY! I'm no shrink, but, may I must state this is my opinion.

    Wishing peace to all, and to any individual out there who might stumble upon this post, "YOU ARE AMAZING, PERFECT, AND GOD LOVES YOU NO MATTER WHAT ANY HUMAN CLAIMS ABOUT YOU AND NO MATTER WHAT YOU THINK NEGATIVELY AND ALL ABOUT YOURSELF."

    May all humans suffering from the actions or words of humans against them find freedom and love in the Holy Spirit's LIGHT.

    :) Truly, Thank You for reading this response. :)

    February 10, 2014 at 12:21 am

  18. Leliana

    I was raped this weekend. I got too drunk And my friends left me at this club.

    No one will beileve me. Not even the doctors.. I was anally raped and savagely beaten. But because when i was drunkenly taken to the hospital.

    Because i didnt report it right away.. Im a liar.

    April 22, 2014 at 5:08 am

  19. bnj14

    Take notes, write a blog, do what you need to to live your life – try nott o focus on it too much, keep records – one day justice must come

    September 11, 2014 at 8:48 am

  20. Lucy

    My sister was gang raped by three men about two years ago, at the time she told us she had been mugged and then later admitted there was some form of sexual abuse but more recently she told us that she had been fully raped. Some members of my family don't believe her and I find it heartbreaking as they don't realise what it has done to her as a person and what she has gone through. I feel she hid away from the attack and straight after it she turned to drugs. She is also a big girl and I know this has also made my family doubt the story, I just don't know what to do to sort the situation. They have also accused my parents of handling the whole thing wrongly by not going to the police but my parents did not know the facts until recently and my sister begged them not too as she couldn't relive it.

    July 10, 2015 at 8:28 pm

  21. Sarah

    At around tow and half my mother's cuz started to molested me may be it's called grooming I don't know. After that he started abusing me sexually as he was penetrating my vigina with his … from the back at first time over and over I really can't forget blood or sensations and sensation of feeling his… Inside me moving it's really a disgusting feeling and my eyes were filled of tears as I was afraid to scream cuz it was in their house and if everything was discovered they will probably kill me but seriously guilt was killing me when I first tried to tell my mother I didn't know how to describe it then when I tried again she didn't believe it I kept trying to describe something with no words like how hard the situation is. I told my mother once she said it doesn't matter cuz you have already been molested by someone of your fathers family!!!!! I felt really disgusted and abandoned like all are standing against me. He kept making sex with me as I was crying out of fear and guilt after that I decided to resist and I wish I didn't as rape was worse !! I was mentally like uncouncious like I lost control on my emotional state.. The last time my parents brought me to their house I screamed and cried my heart out not to go inside!!!!! Which this just finishes at 5 !!!
    At age of 7 my parents toke me to hospital to virginity test and they said that hymen is fine !! I think that since it stopped at 5 years old until 7 years old the hymen has was able to just close or grow back cuz I am 100 percent sure of blood and all other parts.

    Ever since I have had PTSD which sometimes becomes very severe when flashbacks are random !! No I am going to get new therapy .. I hope it works as it actually was disturbing my studies

    The strange is that : I was not able to remember the rape part as a flashback during normal days but thus worst part happens again during sleep !!
    There's a voice in me- and I think it's the counciouns voice- tells me that it hides most of the bad pictures and information so I don't remember them!! This is really I don't understand!! Last year I was asleep and the next day we supposedly had to is it a family gathering cuz my mother doesn't care and she will force me to see them again.. On the same night I was rated during my sleep and I was feeling all physical emotional sensation !!!!! And when I felt of like he was forcing his … In me forcing key I opened my eyes and screamed out if pain.!!!!! Woke up shocked traumatised and uncouncious literally like a zombie !! A voice inside me was saying "see this is one of the pictures and memories I'm hiding it from you so you can live normally.. Now don't go there cuz look what I showed you of what he did to you" !!! I know it sounds crazy but this's what happened..
    Now I hoe that random flashbacks becomes triggery flashbacks which is less worse.

    The worst part is niot being believed at beginning .. Feeling abandoned and that I couldn't protect my self ..oh yeah and lack of like what words to day to describe I mean at after two and half I don't know what to call vigina , his … Tearing … And yeah I don't get this virginity test how come its positive is it cuts of hymen as it rebuilds itself !

    July 18, 2015 at 12:10 am

  22. I was raped by my brother about two years ago but it feels like two weeks ago. My family don’t believe me. They tell me if it happens again its my fault and that I’m asking for it again. I don’t respond when they tellme that i just nod. Talking always gets someone into trouble. I am thinking of just not talking anymore since nobody seems to care or want to endure my voice.

    Is this a good plan?

    November 12, 2015 at 12:33 am

  23. Hello I am 15. For the past fourteen years my brother has tortured me, keeping me up at night playing or watching TV. My mom and dad knew what he was doing but only turned away when I confronted them. Two years ago my brother raped me I told mom and dad took me to the hospital the doctors said they found nothing mom and dad they called the cops cops didn’t do nothing but asked questions said I was making it up and left me with that monster. I am in my room, everyone is asleep my mom and dad said I have to keep my door open but HE is right across from me. I’m scared but if I close it mom and dad will get mad. Any suggestions?

    November 12, 2015 at 12:39 am

  24. Hello. I am 15. For as long as I can remember my brother has tortured me. You know, hitting me with rocks, squeezing my arm until I compiled, jerking my hair, slapping me, threatening me. Two years ago he raped me. Doctors said everything was fine cops asked questions and said I made it up family didn’t believe me. They still don’t. I’m in my room HE is like maybe four footsteps from my room mom and dad says I need to keep my door open good idea or bad?

    November 12, 2015 at 12:43 am

  25. Stephanie Ford

    I was raped about six years ago. I was 19 years old, a freshman in college, and it was the night before Easter. I was at my older sister's apartment where I used to love to go to relax and de-stress. Her boyfriend's friend Mike was staying withe her and her boyfriend at the time. i was so excited to go to church in the morning that I decided to go to bed early. Her boyfriend and Mike were drinking and playing video games downstairs on one of the couches.. I was told to sleep on the other couch which I did not feel comfortable with. I begged my sister to let me sleep in her room on the floor, but she said no because sh wanted alone time with her man. I put on my nightgown and went to sleep. I woke up in the middle of the night hearing someone say "Steph" over and over again. I opened my eyes to see Mike staring at me from the other couch clearly intoxicated. I was not feeling well and decided to get up and get a drink of water. He offered me a pill which I took trusting him. Next thing I know i am dizzy and he grabbed me and started to squeeze the life out of me. I was so scared and though I was going to die. He kept saying he wanted to have sex but i didn't want to and he squeezed harder. I froze and let him lift my nightgown and take off my panties. When he entered me I pushed back hoping he would stop. I was screaming inside for him to stop and hoping my sister would come downstairs and realize something was not right. She never came and he finished and rolled over and passed out. I laid there for a few moments processing what had just happened. I got up and took a bath crying feeling like it was a ll my fault. I went to church like nothing was wrong and told my sister we had consensual sex because I was afraid. When I told her the truth she did not believe me. She told me she had a bad feeling that night but chose to ignore it. She still to this day does not believe me. She and her boyfriend are still friends with Mike and even made him the godfather to my niece. My other older sister is now in a relationship with Mike's other friend. Both of my sisters have invited me to places they know Mike will be at. They keep causing me to have to relive that night over and over again.

    March 27, 2018 at 11:19 am

  26. Lonely soul

    I was raped by my brother, Loads of times. Raping isn’t even the worst thing that he has done.
    I want to make sure that everyone feels they can tell someone. I didn’t tell anyone, i repressed all my feelings. Please don’t do that. If you are hurting, tell someone. People can help you!

    June 15, 2018 at 9:16 am

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