Dating Mistakes: He Didn’t Love Jesus.
Editor’s Note: I wrote this post in June on my own blog. I’ve dated Christians, atheists, agnostics, and everything in between. I thought that chemistry, how he treated me, and his accepting, open-minded personality was enough. I was tired of judgmental, hypocritical, boring Christian men. Thankfully, God stepped in. Last month I married a man who loves Jesus more than he loves me. And I could not be happier. – Lauren
“Why don’t you date him? He’s a good guy.”
“Just give him a chance. You never know unless you take the risk.”
“Go on a few dates. Just because he isn’t a Christian doesn’t mean he will be a bad boyfriend.”
“God can change people. Maybe he’s the one. You can make it work.”
“We’re just hanging out, it’s not serious. It won’t go anywhere.”
“You’re not deciding to marry him right this second. Just see how it goes.”
I remember being a freshman in high school and believing heart and soul that I would never date a “non-believer,” much less ever have sex with one. Fast-forward five or six years, and I’ve dated a couple. Fast-forward another year or two, and I’m sleeping with one that I’m not even dating.
No girl wakes up and says to herself, “I’m gonna fall head over heels in love with a man I’d never marry today” or decides over lunch that sex is just sex is just sex, and none of it is a big deal anyway. I didn’t. And you probably didn’t, but both of those things happen to us.
“Your first perfect Christian boyfriend broke your heart. You weren’t supposed to mess around with him, but you did anyway. Now you might as well mess around with the next one. You’ve been perfect your whole life. You deserve to have some innocent fun. It’s just going out for a drink – that isn’t committing to a relationship. Cuddling as ‘friends’ isn’t wrong. Marriage is like, a decade away. What are you supposed to do for ten years – be bored? Everyone has sex before marriage. And everyone ends up with a husband and happy in the end. You need to experience everything before you settle down and only have sex with one man for the freaking rest of your whole entire life.”
I don’t know how it happened to you, but that’s a glimpse of what happened to me. And I was the girl with the best intentions, the highest standards, and the most reasonable head on my shoulders. Maybe you got there a little differently, but it ended us both in the same place.
Why did it happen? Because we’re human. Because life happens. Because we get hurt. Because we’re built for relationships, but we’re born broken.
And because too often as Christian girls, we are given the rules with no explanations. We’re told the No’s without the Yes’s. We’re given the worst-case scenarios without a picture of the amazing fun-filled, purpose-filled, hot sex & crazy love filled marriage that we were created for.
As Christian girls, we’re told that sex gets us pregnant, ruins sex with our future husband & is SIN SIN SIN. The church has steered us away from sex by way of guilt, shame & fear. The problem with motivating by guilt & fear (instead of truth & life) is that the moment another area of our life collapses, we give up on everything. Because sin is sin is sin, right?
We say, “What the hell.” And we give up a little, settle a little, stop caring a little.
This is what I didn’t know about relationships. About men. About myself. About sex. About dating. About marriage. About life.
This is what I didn’t know, that had I known, I might not have become addicted to things that slowly began to destroy me.
This is what I half-knew, that I pushed to the back of my mind and heart, believing that I couldn’t have or couldn’t find.
This is why you can’t date a man who doesn’t love Jesus, if you have given your life to the God who created, treasures and adores you.
– Because Love isn’t enough to get you through anything. You have to respect him, too. There is something in the heart of a woman who loves Jesus that knows she can’t fully respect a man who doesn’t have God as his number one priority. If you don’t respect him as a man, get out. If you question it now, you can expect it to be wholly sabotaged when things get rough. A man knows when you don’t respect him, and there are few things more dangerous, problem-causing & explosive than a man without respect.
– When we evaluate relationships, we forget to set the stage at its worst – we just set it for now. Last week, my man hit rock bottom. As the woman who is promising to love & support him (and invest my entire life in him) no matter what, I HAVE to know that God loves, protects, will provide for, and will strengthen this man in my arms. If a man doesn’t love God with his whole heart, I can’t be assured that what I’m comforting him with is going to be delivered. I can’t have faith in a man who doesn’t have faith. I can’t strengthen the faith of a man who doesn’t have any to begin with.
– If you are a woman who loves Jesus, a man who doesn’t love Jesus doesn’t know who you truly are. Your identity is defined by God. You’re lying to yourself if you think that your relationship with Jesus can remain in a box, outside of your romantic relationship. For a while, I told myself that if he understood every part of me except for the God part – that was okay. When you are created a new creation in Christ, ALL of you is “the God part.” No part of you is untouched by your love for Jesus. And your man does not see that you – he sees a different woman.
– You need an anchor. One day you’re going to fall apart. And you’re going to need him to come to your rescue by way of God, not by himself. God is our rock, and our foundation. Max cannot be my savior. I cannot be his. And both of us need one. If you date a man who doesn’t know his Savior, you are forced to fulfill that role, which as a human being, you cannot. And he will try to be your savior. And he can not. Everything will be okay because you believe in God, not because your boyfriend “believes in you.”
– When you’ve made the decision to follow Jesus, your perception of everything becomes wildly changed. Lifelong friendships are built not on similar interests, but on similar views of the world. Marriages are no different. It is said that marriages do not fail for lack of love, but lack of friendship. You’re choosing a partner to take on the world with together for the rest of your life. You can’t make it through the battle if he’s seeing differently than you are. And you can’t live with someone you wouldn’t be friends with in the first place.
– He can’t love you to the best of his ability if he doesn’t love Jesus. I’m talking about the kind of love you need to survive a marriage. The love that lasts a lifetime. The lay-down-your-life-for-someone-kind-of-love. The world’s definition is but a pale imitation of love. If you want to truly be loved by a man, you need to find one who has experienced unconditional, sacrificial love as is defined by God, the author of it. God created marriage as an image of Jesus’ relationship with the church, and Jesus laid down his life out of love for his bride.
– Believing in God is not the same as having a relationship with Jesus. Telling someone that your boyfriend “believes in God” is a cop out answer. Believing or not believing is irrelevant; what matters is their active relationship with Jesus.
– You can’t marry them, so why date them? Let’s say you’ve already decided you won’t marry a non-Christian – but what’s wrong with “just” dating them? Your body is designed to bond utterly & completely with someone, through the release of dopamine & oxytocin. Dopamine is the chemical that drives you back to pleasurable things. In its most innocent form, it teaches a small child that puppies are awesome. In its most powerful form, it creates a natural addiction to the person you are physically involved with. You were created to be addicted to someone for the rest of your life. The addiction starts the moment dopamine is triggered and begins to flood your brain. The question is: are you created an addiction to something healthy, or unhealthy? (When Oxytocin is triggered, it teaches your mind to trust, and reduces fear. Consider the repercussions of programming your body to trust someone you know you shouldn’t, and to be safe around someone you plan to break up with.)
It hurts. It’s hard. You love him.
I’m not telling you to leave him because you’re sinning, I’m telling you to go get addicted to a man you want in your life forever. .
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I feel like this article just encompasses it all. I thank God everyday that he sabotaged this puppy love relationship I almost had with a guy who didn't love Jesus. I saw him for what he was and I ran. God absolutely protected me and I am so thankful, but I know plenty of girls who ignore God's warnings and fall into terrible things. Thank you so much for this. I am so glad someone else is able to hear it before it gets worse for them–before they have to deal with someone breaking their trust or their heart.
:)
October 6, 2011 at 12:33 am
This was the first post I ever read of yours…and it allowed me to re-ground myself at a time when I was allowing my foundation in Christ to crumble due to a broken heart. Thank you for these words of wisdom, affirmation and love. I so appreciate your vulnerability and brutal, but loving, honesty. You are one of the many beautiful mouth pieces of God– and what a blessing for that!
October 6, 2011 at 1:44 am
I remember reading this back in June. Thanks for posting it again. I needed this in my life.
October 6, 2011 at 10:49 am
"It's just one date – it's not the rest of your life . . ." my girlfriend said when she tried to set me up with her "boyfriend's friend" so we could go on a double date. Two children and a messy relationship/break-up later and my life will never be the same.
Great post! I saw myself in this post as if I was looking in a mirror at the "me" of many years ago.
October 6, 2011 at 2:10 pm
"If you are a woman who loves Jesus, a man who doesn’t love Jesus doesn’t know who you truly are." I can tell you this is true because I lived it, and it devastated me and my marriage. Thank God– literally, I do– that He broke in and changed this man's heart. Because my heart was long gone, and it was the only way to get it back. Thanks for speaking a hard truth, Lauren.
October 6, 2011 at 2:41 pm
Girl-this rocked. Every bit of it. I did the same thing and tried to date guys that "almost fit" and now that I am married to a man who loves God more than me, I am shocked I ever thought it could work out otherwise. Praise God for grace :)
So excited for you and your marriage! This is one of my favorite verses to describe my husband and I's marriage (you can steal it too:)): Song of Solomon 5:16…this is my beloved and this is my friend." How ridiculously awesome.
You rock, again.
October 6, 2011 at 4:03 pm
I loved this post. Super encouraging for my own life.
Thanks Lauren.
October 6, 2011 at 6:40 pm
I have to say that I don't know if I entirely agree with this. I feel like there are so many healthy, functional, loving relationships out there between people who have different beliefs. And what about all those really healthy, happy, functional couples who do not love Jesus equally? What do you say to them? That their love, friendship and companionship isn't blessed by God? I just feel like there is a lot of black and white in this. Christian = healthy, happy. Nonchristian = unhealthy.
I feel like I'm still sorting out a lot in my faith life, and I would never want someone to quit me just because I didn't love Jesus enough. Every person has a journey and a story and to suggest that there is no room for the gray seems to be the anthesis of what this site is designed for. One of the things I really admire about the GWP is the acceptance of the gray matter.
And maybe some would say that I'm just not willing to hear the hard truth. Except I know people who have a brilliant, healthy, functional love who are not in the space place spiritually but accept the other person for who they are.
One final thought: while I think I understand what you're trying to say about being addicted to someone, that jumps out to me as being kind of unhealthy. I don't want to be addicted to anyone. Yes, I want a partner who I can share my life with, including all the good and bad things. But do I want to be addicted to them? Eh. Not so much. Growing up in a household where addictions were prevalent, I am a little weary of being addicted anything, let alone a person who is flawed by nature. To me, that screams unhealthy and co-dependent.
October 6, 2011 at 7:18 pm
Been there. Had to do a lot of praying and thinking about my life one day that changed me for the better. I thought I could depend on a man to make me feel good about myself, and I got hurt a lot. Thanks for your story, it's so nice to see other people who can relate. :) God bless. <3
October 6, 2011 at 8:00 pm
Better yet. Article writer, why don't we just stone non-Christians?
Oh, and article writer, Christians have pre-marital sex too, as much if not more than the general population. Look it up yourself. Hell, survey 100 members of your church (assuming they aren't LDS, 7th Dayers or Westboro).
October 7, 2011 at 2:05 am
(And assuming they tell the truth).
October 7, 2011 at 2:11 am
Powerful article and I can relate to much of what you've written. It's important to be with someone that you can share your whole self.
October 7, 2011 at 7:17 am
reading this four months ago could have possibly prevented me from making a huge, giant, life-changing mistake. although, the place where i was at (a 'christian' but completely fallen away from an actual relationship with God), i'm not totally sure i would have listened. i was definitely in denial. thank God for opening my eyes before things became even deeper.
thanks for writing!
October 14, 2011 at 6:09 pm
I can testify to this too! Marrying an unbeliever is nothing but heartache and pain, please if anyone is considering this DON'T, IT'S NOT WORTH IT!! I got saved young, I was 15 years old, things were great in the beginning but because I never really knew God, I never understood what wildernesses in my Christian life were and I couldn't understand why (It seemed like God had left me at times) I then started to resent him and thoughts came into my mind that he lied to me, when he said he'd never leave or forsake me! (Please understand, I'm not trying to make excuses for my lack of faith and belief in God, I'm sharing in the hope I can help/prevent someone making the mistakes I've made!) I met someone who wasn't a christian, I wasn't attracted to him (He wasn't my type!) but because I was in such a low broken state & stupidly, I wanted to hurt God for(supposedly forsaking me) I gave into this mans advances and lost my virginity to him(one of my biggest regrets!) I felt sick afterwards & knew what I had done! time went on and I became pregnant.. i still loved the Lord though and thought (in my own wisdom, to save the name of Christ from shame, I'd marry him) I repented and returned to church but I knew God was calling me closer but I wouldn't go, because I wanted my husband to get saved and I found myself looking back (like lots wife) well.. I wished I hadn't and answered the call. Things only got worse! it spiraled down hill from then, (I still felt the shame as well and I wondered if it was in deed God calling me after what I had done, I knew I didn't deserve his mercy and forgiveness!) plus I was deceived into thinking I could sort my own marriage out, as I got myself into this mess.. without God! I pushed God away until I no longer heard or felt his presence, the worse things came upon me spiritually, emotionally & physically. Scriptures haunted me like, those who love the lives will lose it, but those who lose their lives for Christ sake shall gain it..as i was to soon find out! my husband had been cheating on me after 5years of marriage.. (I had 2 toddlers and a new born baby) I was devastated and broken, we split for 1 year. He cried and said he was sorry, so we got back together, had a some counseling from my pastor but then, just last year (after 6-7 years of being back together) I found some sexually explicit emails he had written to his (so called) friend (of many years, who lives over seas) I also found emails to the women he had the affair with, they were laughing and joking about sexual things they did together, when they were having the affair! I was so ready to divorce him but again I sort help and counsel and decided to stay together and were trying to work through our problem but I WISH I could redo this, I have lost sooo much, firstly my intimate relationship with God, that I still don't have back after 11 years of trying, he helps me and has been there for me in many things, but I miss, with all my heart the deep loving relationship I used to have with my Lord & Savoiur, I feel like an outcast, a bastard and a reject, trying to find my way back to him. I have to encourage myself daily hoping he will have mercy on me and let me back in! PLEASE THINK HARD ON THIS, NO ONE OR THING IS WORTH YOU SALVATION!!!
God Bless you, keep you eyes stayed upon the one who is able and willing to keep you from falling and able to present you unspotted and unblemished!
October 22, 2011 at 11:06 am
Thank God for blessing me with this message. I have been struggling to find the right words to say to this guy – who is not a Christian – that I am not interested in a relationship for these VERY reasons! Everything you went through to get to this point has truly been an encouragment to me to be sted fast in my relationship with God and to not travel down the wrong road with a man God has not created for me. THANK YOU!
November 22, 2011 at 3:34 pm
The Lord works in mysterious ways. I was just praying about this two nights ago. Im in a situation that Im allowing myself to be too comfortable in. He's my ex and I know he is not the one, but its easy to go back for a little fun every other six months when I get that "itch" I've been praying for a husband and there is no way that this is the way to go about it. Ive talked to two women who prayed for the same thing and they told me to watch out for those who appear right but just aren't . I needed to read this. This confirms it. This is the third experience I have had since I began praying for a husband. I guess the third time is the charm. Leave him alone and stop the nonsense before it creates a situation where your future will be unattainable and I refuse to settle for less. THANK YOU SO MUCH!
January 13, 2012 at 2:08 pm
I loved what is said about how when your created and made new by God Not one part of you is untouched by your love for Jesus. This is so true!
January 14, 2012 at 1:06 am
This is such a great post. I find myself in a situation where I know he is just not the right one but I want to try to make it work becasue I don't want to come off as shallow but at the end I know that is not what God has for me, it has to be better. So I have made the decision to move foward but it one of those things that I have be very slow and kind in ending it becasue I don't want him to feel like he is not good enough when really that is the isssue. I am looking at the future and if we were to be then, everything would fall on my back just becasue of his current situation and lack of motivation.
January 16, 2012 at 2:08 pm
1john 5:3 this is what the love of god means…Thayer keep his commandments. Jesus commands we preach the good news of Gods kingdom. So if you aren’t out knocking on doors or standing in public areas trying to tell people about that then guess what? Neither you or your boyfriend/husband love God.
January 24, 2012 at 5:50 pm
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Reading this article today was, as my mom would say, "such a God thing."
I've been dating a guy for almost a year now. We're 17. We've both always known we could never be together forever, because he's an atheist. But we were both in denial, in different ways, and now we're graduating and have decided to face facts. He doesn't understand my reasons, and I don't think he ever will. His perspective confused mine, and when I thought about it, I couldn't find any specific reasons we wouldn't work, just vague things I'd heard from other people. It's been tough, especially because we both have strong physical desires, but my virginity is a purposeful, passionate conviction, and his is forced because of my decision and his respect for me. Still, it's a struggle to let him go. I kept asking my Christian friends, "But we truly love each other, he's my best friend, he isn't asking me to change, so why?" All I got was, "Because God says it's wrong!". I came to resent God for that. I've still stuck to my resolution to break up with him next month when we graduate, but reading this makes it easier. That last sentence – that was something I'd never heard before. That completely flipped my perspective. Thank you for that.
May 8, 2012 at 5:52 pm
I do not believe in a deity at all. However, your article was well thought-out, and points up reasons for women and girls to look out for themselves- to choose instead of be chosen, and to utilize their brains rather than respond instantly to chemistry. In essence, the take-away for an atheist such as myself is to look for core compatibilities that will see a relationship through a lifetime.
December 5, 2012 at 1:11 am
I dated a nonChristian for 8 weeks, breaking up with him nearly a year ago. He claimed to believe in God and have a relationship with Jesus. It became evident as he pushed me to let my boundaries down physically, failed to respect me, and his lack of intention with Christian community that he wasn't. Even while dating him, a part of me always knew breaking up was a matter of "when" and seeing how long this "would last". The breaking point came when my best friend got married a year ago. During her wedding, I took communion and realized no matter how much it meant to me, it would mean nothing to him (he was away on drill that weekend) I saw the beauty of a marriage being created that had Christ at the core and saw it missing from my relationship. The biggest part of me, and I couldn't even share it with the man I loved. I was torn between breaking up with him, realizing it, but hating that cold truth, ready to go through it, until my uncle went from "healthy" to "dying" in one phone call. I used the excuse of his support to stay with him for one week. Until that best friend came to me a week after and said…"This sounds crazy, but I felt God telling me yesterday you're having doubts over ____, and it started at my wedding. I want to tell you that you're worth more than a man who doesn't love God." (the woman had been on her honeymoon, all she knew was my uncle. Not one of my doubts) I realized I couldn't lean on him during this time, that God had to be my soul rock alone. So I went over within hours and walked away. It wasn't easy. I made a lot of mistakes following it. But those lessons above…even during my 8 weeks with him, rang so true.
I want to be with a man who shares and understands the biggest part of me – an active, real relationship with my Savior.
Girls, don't settle. Don't ever settle. You don't need that boy to get you through that time. I didn't even have much community during those months. But I had God to get me through the grief of losing one of the most remarkable men in my life. And when he did pass away months later, community was right there with me, walking with me through it. I wasn't alone. I learned the hand of God will carry me…not someone else, not community (as much as I love and cherish it), not some boy, not your family. God will. And He will hold and cherish me.
January 8, 2013 at 11:32 am
As I guy I want to encourage you ladies and say that guys have the same problems. Remember that the man you marry should love Christ more than you and you more than himself. Remember that its not about any of us, it’s about Him. And for the people who are unsure, it is true that people can have great relationships out of faith. People from different faiths can even work. But true faith means you aren’t concerned for yourself. It means you wouldn’t date someone out of your faith because that’s not going to do anything for your faith. And honestly if you aren’t of faith why would you want to date a Christian? We just talk about Jesus all the time. In the same way why would a Christian marry a non Christian? You want to force them to wait until marriage for sex based on morals they don’t believe? And raising kids would be a nightmare because you’d have two completely different value systems. Point is the writer is correct and awesome. Thank you for the inspiration. I hope I can find a girl who loves Jesus more than me
March 7, 2013 at 1:05 am
Thankyou, thankyou. This is a decision I know I'm going to have to make after meeting a lovely non Christian guy, who after being friends for several months, kissed me a couple of days ago. As a person I really can't fault him but I know I know I know I will never be truly happy with him. He will never fully understand me and unless he knows God will never have the capacity to lead me or love me as I need to be. Gosh, its going to be hard though. I dont want to hurt him and I don't want to be hurt again myself, not yet.
Especially as for the last while I have been messed around by guys from church, either making bold statements and not having the integrity to back them up, or hinting away but not having the balls to do anything about it. And its so easy to go along with someone who acts in ways that value you more than the people in church.
Yet, I know its not about them, or me, but Him. And I know He has someone incredible for me. It just hurts so much.
This was the post that brought me to GWP, then I'd never been in this situation. Thankyou Lauren, and everyone. You're helping me a little closer to what I know I must do.
March 22, 2013 at 7:11 pm
Great Article. I am in a relationship, where I am having trouble discerning whether the man I am dating loves Jesus. Great guy, believes in Jesus, and took care of his mom for several years who was sick with Multiple Sclerosis. We go to church together and now have recently started a bible study group. All this has been predicated upon me insisting that we grow more in the Lord. It has been 2 years and I can't move forward in marriage because I don't see a passion for Jesus. I want someone who loves Jesus and is passionate about serving Him. He goes to church, tithes, and reads the word occasionally. I feel like I am wanting him to fill this role that he cannot fill. Am I looking to him to fill a place in my heart only Jesus can fulfill or am I legitimate in my expectations? The hard part about my situation is he is a Christian, but I am not sure if we hunger for Jesus in the same way. What are the chances of a marriage lasting when two Christians are walking differently with the Lord?
June 25, 2013 at 11:18 pm
I love Jesus and seek the Holy Spirit everyday. Im 23 and am trying to find a good Chritian girl who reads the Bible wanting the same thing in a guy but am afraid this girl does not exist. Girls my age dont want to settle down they just want to be free until theyre 30. Allthe good Christian girls my age are taken. Why are girls so foolish? The ones I try to date get freaked out because Im so open with my faith in the Lord. Girls today can be so cruel with their immaturity and lack of faith
November 24, 2013 at 2:01 pm
Pingback: He doesn’t love Jesus…. | unlovelymadebeautiful
“I can’t have faith in a man who doesn’t have faith. I can’t strengthen the faith of a man who doesn’t have any to begin with.”
I think that was one of my favorite points in this article. I have recently just made the decision myself to break up with a nonbeliever. We dated a year and he was an awesome guy but I always had a feeling something was missing between us. I have had my doubts about my faith off and on for years and finally I couldn’t put up a fight any longer I decided I would pray, go to church, read and learn everything I could about God and his word. That’s exactly what I did, I specifically prayed for the desire to want to know as much as I could and that’s exactly what happened. I cannot even explain the desire that was brought upon me. I had so many different types of conformation that I cannot further my relationship with a nonbeliever. It was a tough decision especially since he couldn’t understand why since he was such a good guy I couldn’t stay with him. He wanted me to prove to him that prayer and God were real. I told him that I needed him to prove to me that God wasn’t real. Neither of us could do that. But I can prove that since I have 100% dedicated my life to Christ instead of just saying I was a Christian my life, my thoughts, my desires have completely changed. God isn’t suppose to be “proven” it’s called faith. You have to stop being so close minded and wanting everything “explained” and “proven” and just look around at all the blessings every single day. I could go on and on but my point is.. That I am so happy with my decision. I knew in my heart it wasn’t right and I was suppose to end things, I ignored that for a very long time and I feel like God has been waiting patiently for me to stop being stubborn, give up that one last thing that I was holding on to that kept me from furthering my relationship with God. I am blessed, I am so incredibly thankful and I have faith that God has an awesome plan for my life. I have to have a man so focused on God and I won’t settle for less! :)
January 2, 2014 at 3:10 pm
I am 30 years old and I’ve been praying for a husband since about 5 years ago. I met someone 14 weeks ago and it felt like eureka. He’s so good to me that I feel he can give me his eye if I’m in need of it. He’s a Christian by “birth” but does not have a personal relationship with Christ. We’ve been having sex and I feel bad each time…He follows me to church and fasts with me every Thursday but would rather do his laundry on Sunday morning when I’m not around. I’ve been blessed by these posts….they’ve told me I should break up with him. How do I break do I do so. I don’t even know what to say to him or where to start.
May 2, 2014 at 11:29 am
Way to Go! ! I love this article. Agreed. Congratulations on your marriage! God bless you
May 27, 2014 at 9:11 pm
I just broke up with my bf.. He says he wants a relationship with Christ and he will change but it will take time.. Idk if i can wait for that to happen.. I know i need to trust God in all my decisions but it is pretty hard right now..
I know my bf is hurting and i am afraid tht this might push Him further away from seeking God..
Does anyone have any words or have you been through this? Should i give him a chance and trust that the Lord will move in His life…
August 8, 2014 at 5:10 am
Probably all this testimony you read about spell casting online are spam right?And yeah some are spam some think all of them are spam which is totally not bad and i also know some believe spell casting really works but have not been able to find the right one. Well i think i found the right spell caster Metodo. I know he is real not cos he helped me but because i was there in his temple i Have seen him and his temple and i tell you it can't get more really that what am writing now. I know you may want to know why and what lead me to contact a spell caster i am a south African woman here in south African as a matter of fact in Africa having a male child is like the most important thing in a marriage and it turned out that i am married to a very traditional man as in a he believes the male child carry the family name on and on but the females get married and change there name which is true. I were married for six years and i had no male child for him. Maybe friends and family filled his head with a lot of things like i don't have a male child for him and as a result he need to get a divorce and get another wife that can bear him a male child. I always thought the people that filled his head with this ideas where is family and friends the people that i smile and dine with. The very people who ought to have advice him rightly. I never found out if they where involved in wanting to ruin life and my marriage. Not because i could not find out but cost i didn't want to develop hatred for them cos i will always get to see them and it is not really healthy seeing the faces of people you hate. At that time, i mean before i knew my husband got himself a lover i was paranoid about him having a lover cos our lives changed a lot he starting coming home late he wouldn't touch me any more and even he started avoiding me in our home making up excuses to stay all day in his study room doing nothing and telling me his need something off to clear his head. We had fights all the time i brought up the matter if he was see someone else. Maybe he got tired of lying i don't know he finally asked for a divorce. A divorce my family saw him through his university and got him a got job i told myself and now he's asking me for a divorce cos i don't a male child yet for him. He was ready to let go of his three beautiful daughters he asked that i take them along. Maybe he was a real f**l and didn't know what he had and maybe he didn't deserve someone like me but one thing was crystal clear to me i was still in love with him and i wanted a complete family for my kid that and the fact that i raised him from the gutter i didn't care about any of his problem when i married him and i forgot to say my father never approved our marriage but still i jumped into it thinking we are going to have each other forever. Though we are still together now but its cos of the spell i had metodo cast on him to make him see how much he needs me in this life. When i contacted metodo he asked that i get the materials for the spell which i did and delivered the materials to him in person that is to say i came in contact with him. I was to return in to his temple in 7 seven day and within those seven day he gave me a blessed a red candle asking that i command and say whatever i wanted every night within those seven days which i did on the seventh day when i returned to metodo temple he gave a harmless powerful substance with instruction on how to use it. This might seem like fiction or lie or what ever you lucky reads may think but deep down you know it true you just looking for a way not to get involved. I ve got my husband back and my family life couldn't be better thanks to the spell though i don't have a male child for him at least his them lover bore him one. contact him with his email if you want his help metodoacamufortress @ yahoo. com
August 18, 2014 at 9:46 am
God led me to this article and I am so grateful to you! I was looking for a story to relate to. I broke up with my boyfriend because we don't have the same Christian values and while God is my priority and my relationship with Christ Jesus is directly connected to my value and self worth, I can't continue down that road with him. Thank you so much for sharing and providing a map and guide as I move forward. God Bless!
August 22, 2014 at 5:33 pm
I find it interesting how so many can justify how great their man is. Thats just going against the word of god. When your talking religion ok….but the way and only way is through Jesus Christ…
October 25, 2014 at 9:11 am
wow
December 11, 2014 at 9:56 pm
I was dating my best friend of over five years.. we were both serving at our local church and had a great friendship.. we got into the relationship and wanted to grow and serve together. A few months into it we gave into our flesh and fell into sin.. at first we were guilt ridden and promised we would not allow ourselves to be in vulnerable situations.. and not too long after would we give in.. jealousy and insecurities followed mostly from me.. i loved him and thought we could fight past our struggles but he kept contact with his ex girlfriend and was paying for her cell phone bill.. not only that but he began putting me down and comparing me to her.. apparently she was softer in character and always available.. at first i would tell myself he didn’t mean it and he was upset but soon after an incident while out with friends where he outright compared me it began to eat at me and i burned with anger and it ate at my self esteem.. i then expressed myself and he apologized for being inconsiderate and said he didn’t want to lose me.. in another instance his ex texted him she missed him, he ignored it, a few days later she checked in on him and he told me they had a small chat.. it was the last straw.. i demanded he cut ties with her and he stop paying her bill.. he dismissed me and said he would stop talking but not paying for her bill.. it was a heated argument where i told him that he didnt care and he.said he could find another woman to love him better than i had.. so i told him to go.find that one because i didn’t deserve this.. i left.. a few days later he showed up at my work.. we talked after work and he seemed sincere so i decided to give it another try..
He was a changed man.. where he would serve me, encourage me in the Lord, pray with/for me, we wanted to get back up together..
Most days it was great and some days all the hurt, pain, and insecurities would crawl back and i would remind him how he hurt me and i wasnt sure if i even wanted to continue.. he apologized many times and would reassure me but nothing he said made a difference.. i am bitter and hurt that i went into it with an open heart. It was the first time i allowed myself to be vulnerable and blinded by my emotions and thought dating my best friend would be great.. instead i was undervalued and hurt..
we are now on a fast and break mostly to focus on our relationship with the Lord and restoration.. We would like to make it work with the Lord as our guide.. and work towards marriage..
But its difficult to not feel insecure and imagine that perhaps he loved his ex more than he does me.. some days i start to think that giving up is much easier than working through the hurt..
Then i am reminded that my Lord loves me unconditionally and works with me through my dirt and struggles.. He forgives me and believes in me.. that is love..
I dont want to get hurt or stay bitter.. have any of you gone through something similar and how did the Lord restore your heart and relationship?
January 16, 2015 at 7:11 pm
What if –
You’ve chosen not to date a non-believer. You make this clear with him before going any further. He understands and says he believes in God and wants to grow further in his Christian walk and that just by being around you, he says his faith will grow. We start dating. We go to church together, we pray together, and everything is going so well, we start talking about marriage. Then one day he comes to you crying saying he thinks you should break up. Your futures aren’t compatable. He doesn’t believe in God. He tried but deep down he never did. He wanted to but he realizes now it’s all fake. There is no God. It’s just something people hold onto because they don’t think they are strong enough alone. Etc.
What then? You’ve given him your heart. You’ve become addicted to him. You planned to be with him the rest of your life. And suddenly, because you have put and will always put God first, you’ve lost the love of your life.
How are you supposed to prevent that?
-broken hearted.
March 7, 2015 at 9:58 am
This article is amazing, thank you!
March 17, 2017 at 12:28 am
I am very glad to see this post. I will definitely share this post with others. Thanks for sharing. dating Antrim
April 13, 2020 at 12:42 am
Wow 😮 I am reading this in 2024 and it is still just as relevant which lets me know God was speaking through you. Thank you for this article it has provided points to help me during the detox of someone who I am completely in love with and addicted to but is not in relationship with Jesus.
April 27, 2024 at 8:39 pm