They Do Exist.

Your Heart Is Good

Editor’s Note: Today’s post is by Elena Pellizzaris, writer, reader, teacher, lover of Jesus. She spends most of her days serving by teaching orphans in Liberia, West Africa. She works for Orphan Relief and Rescue and blogs at Stumbling In Grace. You can also find her on Facebook. – Lauren

Our hearts are the purest indicator of who we truly are. What we believe about our own hearts reveals to us what we really believe about ourselves. For so long, I lived in self-hatred and believed that there could be nothing good in me. My eyes have been opened to lies, and there is one thing that I now know to be true: I’ve been given a new heart. A redeemed heart. A ransomed heart. And Jesus says it is good. Really good. Good enough to die for.

As I said, though, I didn’t always know this. Ever since I was a little girl, I carried this belief around with me that said my heart didn’t matter, that I didn’t matter. My biological father left when I was a baby, and I haven’t seen him since. Why would he stick around, after all? My parents were emotionally (and sometimes physically) absent for a lot of my early childhood. It’s because of you that they’re always gone. Why would they stay? Why would they love you? My ex-husband cheated on me, left me, and then divorced me. You’re disposable. Worthless. You will never be cherished, never be adored. Everyone always leaves you – and it’s all your fault. 

With each wound came the same old lie, and the pain that I felt only seemed to serve as proof that it was all true. I felt like there was something inherently wrong with me, with my heart, that drove people away. That made me unworthy of love.

I didn’t recognize this, of course. Not in a way that I could put into words. But it was there, deep down inside that wounded heart of mine. It would rise up in me whenever I felt rejected. Out of place or not good enough. Lonely. The tears would come, and I would nod yes, this is how it would always be. These hurtful things inside of me would never go away, and I simply had to learn how to fight the pain, choke back the tears, and ‘move on’.

But then, one day, I heard another Voice. A softer Voice, a gentler Voice. It was a Voice that I recognized but, admittedly, a Voice that I hadn’t heard in a while. That’s. Not. True.

And over time, through prayer and study and learning to listen to that Voice, it began to make sense. It made so much sense, in fact, that I could hardly believe I’d been blinded for so long. Isaiah 61 hit me like it never had before. In it, God explains the reasons that Jesus has come. And you know what He says? “To bind up the brokenhearted.” “To proclaim freedom for the captives.” “To bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair.”

When I read those verses, I could see it so clearly. That was me; He was talking about me! My heart had been broken by pain and other people’s sin, and I had become a captive to the lies that came from that brokenness. But that’s not the end of my story! Because Jesus came, and He came for me! That means the ashes, the mourning, the despair, the lies, the feeling of worthlessness is gone. Christ’s work is finished, and I now stand “rebuilt”, “restored”, and “renewed”, just as He promised.

So if your heart is feeling heavy and broken, if you’re weighed down by hurt or fear, I urge you to take that precious heart of yours to Jesus. Your heart matters to Him; you matter to Him. And He cannot wait to set you free.


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11 Responses

  1. Besh N.

    Such a freeing truth that we are all in need of. Thank you!

    January 26, 2012 at 5:46 am

  2. jillianpaige1

    This was exactly what I needed to hear today, and also every day. Thank you.

    January 26, 2012 at 8:30 am

  3. Thank you Elena for sharing this! Our life stories are very similar. Thank you for sharing yours in such an encouraging way! I loved reading it and definitely can relate. It was beautifully written. May God bless you and keep you.

    January 26, 2012 at 9:31 am

  4. So true!! I needed a reminder, so thank you for sharing! Many blessings to you!

    January 26, 2012 at 10:32 am

  5. Beautifully written Elena. Wow is all I can say!

    January 26, 2012 at 9:28 pm

  6. Tonna

    Thank you! Thank You, Jesus!

    January 30, 2012 at 2:11 pm

  7. Linn

    Hi Elena. I'm just stumbling on this now, and reading something like this always stirs up in my the question, "How?" I AM the first half of your story, and I know it. Despite having people around me who know my struggles and care for me anyway, I'm always waiting for them to decide I'm too hard and not worth the effort. Despite knowing that God doesn't see me this way and (I'll admit) off and on trying to convince myself He sees me differently, and won't leave, I still have to decide daily whether I'm going to be numb, or whether I want to live through the sadness, just in case there's a glimmer of hope. I want to believe differently. I just don't know how.

    February 21, 2012 at 3:33 pm

    • Linn, I'm not sure if you will read this follow-up comment, but if so:
      PLEASE do not hesitate to email me if you want to talk, process, pray, whatever. When you're so used to the attacks on your heart, the enemy wants nothing more than to keep you alienated and alone.

      As for how: there is no formula, no checklist…only Grace. I know that sounds like a cliche answer–but I can testify that Grace IS enough.

      xo,
      e.

      February 22, 2012 at 5:44 pm

  8. Linn, I'm not sure if you will read this follow-up comment, but if so:
    PLEASE do not hesitate to email me if you want to talk, process, pray, whatever. When you're so used to the attacks on your heart, the enemy wants nothing more than to keep you alienated and alone.

    As for how: there is no formula, no checklist…only Grace. I know that sounds like a cliche answer–but I can testify that Grace IS enough.

    xo,
    e.

    February 22, 2012 at 5:29 pm

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