Being Single: Don’t Waste The Wait
Editor’s Note: A recent grad from Lee University, Hannah Salsberry is beginning cosmetology school in January. What awesome advice she gives. Step outside of yourself for a moment & look at her suggestions with an open mind. Hannah blogs at MayHopeArise & tweets at @hannahelisabeth – Lauren
So, we’re waiting. Waiting on the one our hearts love. And sometimes, it’s hard. Over the past year, I’ve learned so much about waiting. I’ve learned so much about viewing singleness as a blessing and not a hindrance. I’ve especially learned about proactively waiting. What does that look like? Here are a few things that it looks like in my life, and I hope it encourages you while you wait!
Read books. Marriage books. Relationship books. Literature. Poetry. Inspiration books. Anything. READ. There are so many good resources out there.
Find a Mentor. Find someone who is older than you and who can give you wisdom from “the other side.” Someone who can speak into your life and give you practical advice and encouragement during your single years, because they’ve been there themselves.
Ask questions. Ask your brothers. Ask your dad. Ask your mom. Ask your married friends. Don’t be afraid to seek people out and get knowledge from them and ask them the tough questions. You’d be surprised at how much it means to people to know that as a single girl, you value their thoughts during this season of your life (which is one of the most important ones you’ll ever be in!)
Become the right one. I know, I know, you’re probably as sick of the phrase “the One” as I am, but really. We spend all of this time expecting and wanting the right one, yet we do not spend time BECOMING the right one. Become the right one for someone. Use this time to strengthen characteristics of grace and respect and boldness and humility. Use this time to become the best version of you that you can be.
Stay confident. Confidence is attractive. We look for men who are confident, so why aren’t we? Get healthy. Try new hairstyles and make-up tips and products. Change your style if you feel like it. But whatever you do, do not wallow in self-pity. Chances are that you being single has very little do with there being something wrong with you. God’s timing is God’s timing, and it has to happen when it’s right. Don’t get so strung up on getting skinny enough or pretty enough or _______ enough. You’re enough. Be you. Be confident.
Pray. Seriously. Pray over your future. Pray for your husband. Pray for his family (which will become your family too). Pray for his friends to speak into his life. Pray for him to find mentors. Pray for his heart. And pray for your heart. Pray for your home. Pray for wisdom for your husband.
Write him letters/journal. My sophomore year of high school I started a journal to my husband. I haven’t written daily, or even monthly, over the years… But I’ve been writing prayers and dreams and things I want for our lives together. I’ve been writing frustrations, I’ve been writing about actual dreams I’ve had. I don’t know that he will ever read it word-for-word, but what a precious gift I will have to give him someday! It truly makes it “easier” too, because in my temptation to worry or be impatient, I can go back to that journal and remember that this man I’m writing to is worth it all. One of the things i’m looking forward to most on our wedding day, is giving him this journal that I’ve been writing for years!
Build relationships with girl friends. I remember having a period in my life where I for some reason didn’t think I needed girl friends. But that couldn’t be further from the truth. There are some things that only women understand and only women can truly help you through. I wouldn’t trade the past year and a half of growing closer to my “forever friends” for anything. They have been there on the nights I’m crying over being single, and they’ve been there to put me in my place and speak truth into my life in love. I cannot tell you how important it is to have women in your life who walk through life with you and carry your load for you when you cannot carry it for yourself.
Take advantages of opportunities. Babysit. Cook dinner for your guy friends. Write letters. Buy dinner for someone. Travel. Volunteer. Sew. Serve people in your life, especially if you know young moms. Organize. Hang out with friends. Pursue your dreams. Go back to school. Blog. Go camping. Learn new recipes. BE YOU.
What makes your heart come alive? What makes you feel fulfilled? Pour your heart into that! ENJOY it. Life is sweet and beautiful and even though waiting can be difficult, these are very, very precious moments.
You have your whole life to be married. Allow the Lord to work in you and through you. Wait for the man God has made for you, knowing that he will come into your life when the time is completely right!
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