So, I Waited For Him To Tell Me He Liked Me First.
Editor’s Note: We can get and give advice all day long, but it’s the stories and experiences that show us what life is made of and how people really operate. I love love love this little story by Amanda Bishop. – Lauren
I thought having a guy for a best friend was the best idea I’ve ever had. It’s not even that I thought girls were annoying or caddy. I had plenty of great girlfriends, but I didn’t want them as best friends. I wanted him.
One simple visit to see me at work turned into texting, calling, hanging out in groups, and before you knew it we were inseparable. After several months of being completely patient, my heart was bursting. He was passing up important meetings at work and canceling plans with friends just to spend time with me.
Surely he loved me, right? I had to know.
Everyone’s advice was to wait.
Wait for him to tell you his heart. Wait for him to ask you to be his girlfriend. Don’t pursue. Don’t initiate.
Don’t tell him how your every thought is consumed by him, or that you wake up every day hoping and praying that today will be the day he claims you as his.
So I waited.
Two years later and I was staying up late because I knew he’d call and I didn’t want to disappoint him. It was texting all day, every day. It was sharing every single tiny detail of what Jesus was doing in my heart. It was refusing to let anyone else pick me up from the airport after trips to Africa. It was long walks into town for dinner. It was hour long conversations in my car. It was waiting. It was A LOT of waiting. It was a million conversations from people in our lives telling us we were going to date and me laughing it off as nothing as I gauged his reaction.
It was feeling the need to be the person in his life who affirmed him, listened to him, and encouraged him. I constantly thought of ways to better myself to be better for him. I thought the more I shared about my heart for missions, the church, and Jesus with him, the more quickly he would date me. I thought that soon he would realize my worth and choose me.
It was two years later that he finally told me he had found his wife…and it wasn’t me.
I was told our friendship was everything he’d hoped his marriage would be, except it wasn’t with me. I was told, “thank you for preparing me to be a Godly husband to my future wife, Amanda.” He even jokingly calling me his “practice wife.”
I was never “chosen” and my “worth” was never realized by him.
What I learned: it is never okay to keep silent and wait on a guy.
You were not created to prepare somebody else’s husband for them. God created your heart to be unique; protect it. If a guy friend doesn’t realize your worth and you aren’t “chosen” by him, it is because he was never meant to realize your worth. He was never meant to choose you. God is preparing you for something, SOMEONE so much better. Until then, let Jesus have your heart.
If you like a guy; tell him. Don’t wait till he’s your best friend of two years and knows all the depths of your heart.
Because frankly, no guy best friend was ever created to know all the details of your heart without any commitment to it. Your best friend should be your husband, not just a guy friend.
Finally, seasons of waiting are not bad. They can be fruitful. If you want someone to share your day with, your passions, desires, and depths of your heart, then spill it to your Creator. He wants to hear every single word. Pray it out or journal it.
So I’m back in a season of waiting, but this time I’m living.
I’m giving the details of my day to my Creator. I’m not sitting around and waiting to be “chosen.” I’m sucking as much out of life as I can each day until I meet my husband.
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