Dear Beautiful: An Apology From A Man.
Editor’s Note: Welcome to March!! This month we are publishing open letters from men to women. I am so, so excited about it. If you are a man and want to contribute, please visit our Contribute page. Your letter can be to a specific woman, a certain kind of woman, women who have experienced ________, or to women in general. This is your chance speak encouragement, an apology, an explanation – anything you’ve been unable to say. Today’s post is by Jason. You can find him at @jasonmstauffer. – Lauren
I am sorry.
I want you to know that the way I treated you wasn’t a reflection of you—it was a reflection of me.
When I ignored you, and avoided eye contact. I wasn’t rejecting you; I was protecting myself from being exposed as rejected.
I recognized your beauty, and said nothing. I wanted to tell you, but even more than that, I desperately wanted to show you—to paint you a picture of your true self. But you paint with colors—not dirt.
I thought I was dirt, and I knew that you don’t serve fine wine from a clay pot.
I didn’t make time for you when you needed me to, because I saw no value in my time. I could not fathom being needed.
I withheld my love under the assumption that you had it together, and I didn’t. I felt my love was worthless. I never imagined that I could have been exactly what you needed at that moment.
I did not hold back my sarcastic comments, and hurtful jokes. I wasn’t attacking you; I was protecting myself. I was creating a “safe” distance between us.
My ignorance of your feelings, was a result of not being familiar with my own heart.
The problem with my actions wasn’t you. It took me thirty single years, a counselor, and many close friends to figure out that my problem was me—I did not feel worthy.
I lacked the realization that God’s opinion of me defines my worthiness.
If you are still waiting for someone to notice you—to show you your worth—remember that “Mr. Right*” has a lot wrong with him. And that you only have to wait for him as long as he has to wait on himself.
The tough part of life is that you—just like Jesus—have to wait for the world to recognize the Truth that’s inside of you. In the meantime, you need to know that if men are not treating you the way you want to be treated it is not your responsibility to change that. It because of them. Not because of you.
Your only obligation is to believe the truth about yourself. When that belief is alive in you, everything you have ever wanted will notice.
Want to join us & pass this along to other women in your life?
Follow Good Women Project on Twitter: @goodwomenproj
Be a fan on Facebook: facebook.com/goodwomenproject
Subscribe to our email newsletter for insider updates here or subscribe to the blog here. Or both.
Everyone on our team is volunteer, and we are funded 100% by you. If you'd like to donate, you can here.
We're also doing fun stuff on Tumblr, Instagram, and Pinterest!