From The Men: To My Future Wife
Editor’s Note: Think men don’t know how to romance a woman? You haven’t met Cory Copeland. And if you think sex is all men want, you’re just talking to the wrong guys. Cory is the creator of ToMyFutureSpouse.com and writes some kickass stuff on Tumblr. (My personal favorite is his reminder that the good men are still out there.) You can catch him on TWitter at @cory_copeland. – Lauren
Seeing as how I don’t know who you are yet still plan to make you my wife, I thought I’d give you a heads up and list some of my wants and desires. Some of these are literal while others are merely products of wishing I knew who (and where) you are.
I want our meeting to come from the story books and lovers’ films—your smile melting my world and holding my breath hostage. That day will be the day my life can begin.
I want to hold your hand softly and squeeze it ever so slightly as we walk among the falling leaves, our common infatuation growing with each step we take.
I want my heart to be filled for you—each moment I share with you being a moment I could never live without. Those moments will be the ones we smile and reminisce over when we’re old and gray.
I want to show you that a man can treat you the way you deserve, lifting and supporting you in reverence and respect as you should’ve been your entire life.
I want to surprise you by bending to one knee in the fresh snow; my hands lightly grasping a shining diamond perfectly fitted for your lovely little finger. And while the words may falter and catch in my throat, you’ll see the look in my eyes that tells you I want you to be mine forever.
I want to write you the loveliest vows, hold your hand and kiss your lips as the minister blesses our union. That day will be the day my life forever gains a purpose.
I want to gently wake you up on Saturday mornings and make love to you as the sun’s rays try their best to sneak into our bedroom. We won’t be bothered with notions of disturbance but rather become lost within our pleasure, within our satisfactions, within our love.
I want us to be equals and partners, leaning against one another when times are rough and making decisions as one instead of one reigning over the other. In life, in love we will be side by side.
I want to disappear with you into a foreign land once a year, our taste for adventure and roaming the globe satisfied within the company of each other as we experience new cultures together.
I want to cook for you when you’ve had to work late and are worn to the bone. We’ll sit in the soft light and I’ll listen as you share the frustrations of your day with me.
I want to watch over when you when you get sick, preparing your medicines and massaging away your aches and pains.
I want to show you off to all my friends and have them grow green with envy as they realize they’ll never have a woman like mine. With you on my arm, I could never lose.
I want to ravish you on a warm spring night, our fevered looks and flirting touches no longer able to restrain our deep desire for one another. On these nights, our sweat will mingle and our breaths will quicken but in each other, we will have found the fleeting beauty of love.
I want to be the father you’ve always dreamed of for our children—strong and firm yet smiling, loving and accepting.
I want look at you after many years of marriage and still know that you’re all I’ll ever want or need and that you and you alone, fulfill me in all the ways a wife can satisfy a husband.
I want to grow old with you, our skin softening and our eyes fading. We’ll hold hands and take that same leave laced walk we took in the beginning, our hands still clasped together, the love between us as vital as ever.
I want to love you a day past forever. When our existence has expired and we are but a memory to the children and grandchildren we’ve left behind, I’ll still love you.
I want you—and I want you for forever.
.
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Oh Lord, let there be someone like this out there for me! This reminds me of listening to my Grandpa talking about my Grandma. True love, like you just described, is out there, you just have to keep looking. Best of luck to you!
August 24, 2011 at 12:43 am
This is not true. There is no way on earth.
August 24, 2011 at 12:56 am
I really like knowing that I am not the only one who writes to my future spouse…he will have a whole journal when I marry him :o)
And, if you are being honest here, you will make some very lucky girl very happy one day. Wish you luck.
August 24, 2011 at 1:14 am
It's certainly dreamy. Might lack a little reality though, which is super important in our world that tends so easily to point us towards fantasy. Love your heart behind it, but what happens when she makes you mad, you don't understand her, she (accidentally) disrespects you or you don't agree on something major? How you handle those things…not romance…are the building blocks of true love.
August 24, 2011 at 1:21 am
This is beautiful. I love the idea of having guys post on this website. Cory, I hope there are a lot more guys out there like you. Whoever you end up with is a very lucky woman.
August 24, 2011 at 6:10 am
Phew, it just got a little hot in my office.
August 24, 2011 at 1:51 pm
Cory,
Your post made me cry.
It’s the beauty that makes us persevere under trial. It’s those moments of shared beauty that call us out of the dry seasons of marriage and urge us to find our way back to the sweet nourishing oneness.
You described that beauty so well.
I have bet my future happiness on my belief that God is generous enough to provide for me a second husband…that I will experience that beauty, that sweet nourishing oneness again.
Thank you.
Shula
August 24, 2011 at 1:52 pm
I think it's okay that it's dreamy and might lack reality! He said it's his wants and desires, not his expectations.
August 24, 2011 at 3:14 pm
I'm glad I'm not the only one who writes to a (hopefully) future spouse…sometimes I feel a little crazy doing it..ha. This definitely made me cry, so good job!
August 24, 2011 at 3:26 pm
Wow! Yes please! I am looking for that too! Thanks for making us girls believe that this is still out there, no matter how bad it looks some days!
August 24, 2011 at 8:26 pm
You remind me of how good my husband is to me. Thank you! I hope some lucky lady appreciates all that goodness.
August 24, 2011 at 8:34 pm
i can really relate to this post! i started journaling to my future spouse when i was about 15, got married at 23 and those (4) journals were gifts to my husband, who deeply appreciated them and cherishes them.it gave him a look into my life before him, struggles in my life, things i dreamt about and longed for. so this post made me smile. =)
August 24, 2011 at 10:17 pm
This reminds me of an elderly man that went to the church I grew up in. I was a teenager at the time, but I still remember him talking about how he liked to go for drives in his truck with his wife in the middle seat next to him, and how he would hold her hand. I see that some of the comments talk about this not being reality, but I don't think there is anything wrong with these things. Yes, there are difficult moments in relationships too, but sometimes people need to go for a drive and hold hands. :)
August 24, 2011 at 11:38 pm
Thank all of you for the kind words. I honestly appreciate it more than you know.
I feel somewhat honored to have had my writing posted to such a great site. Hopefully this piece will show that there are good, decent men left in this world who know how to treat a lady. At least that's my goal…
Thanks again.
-Cory
August 25, 2011 at 12:12 am
My issue is not with dreaming but only that MOST EVERYTHING our culture teaches us about relationships and romance is based in fantasy not reality. It creates a really difficult situation in a woman's heart when she marries (or dates) a REAL man and not a fantasy man. And unrealistic expectations become a huge detriment to a healthy marriage. Again Cory, I love your heart in this. She will be blessed to get to read your words one day and experience your pursuit, just pointing out as a reminder to myself and the rest of us that romance isn't love.
There will be dirty laundry, crazy kids (if you're blessed with them), arguments that make you wonder who you married, and difficulties that you face together or alone that are harder than you could ever have imagined as a single person. The most romantic thing my husband could ever do is draw close to me in a the middle of a disagreement, when I'm possibly the one who's wrong, and communicate how much he loves and cares for me and that "we'll get through this." All this other stuff is good….just don't base your entire hope for marriage on it. Life goes on, bills have to be paid, and romance, when seen with the right perspective, can be found in the changing of a dirty diaper.
August 25, 2011 at 10:30 am
Merritt,
If I hadn't been married before, I wouldn't be as readily agreeable. But I have and I am. Everything you said was true. Marriage isn't always easy and whimsical but having a failed marriage on my "resume", I can proudly say that I've learned from my mistakes and have become a better man because of it–a better husband the next time around even.
No, marriage shouldn't be based solely on a romantic and fairytale-like existence but I can strive to make that a viable part of my future wife's relationship with me. It may not be constant and it may not always be easy but it IS something I can attempt to provide for her on a daily basis. If nothing else, she'll appreciate the effort.
-Cory
August 25, 2011 at 11:16 am
megan thats how i feel about you.LDA
August 25, 2011 at 2:45 pm
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Good God. This man must be married by now! You can't have that kind of heart and that ability to express yourself and still be solo! Thank you so much for writing this. I definitely cried while reading it. Its good to know there are some good men out there. It encourages me.
September 10, 2011 at 2:47 am
Love this so much…proof somewhere out there is a good man for me too :)
September 13, 2011 at 3:07 pm
Pingback: Sensuous Wife » Blog Archive » Letter to God
Cory,
Just moments after I posted my comment, I felt I had no other choice but to write this letter to God. http://www.sensuouswife.com/blog/?p=848
Thank you again. Your post was the nudge I needed to reach out for God and offer him my raw honesty.
October 1, 2011 at 12:28 pm
I wish I could be a happy man, how can I find her.?
October 3, 2011 at 3:47 pm
Pingback: Sensuous Wife » Blog Archive » Letter #6 to my future husband
Thank you, Cory, for writing this. As a woman who is struggling with finding the right man and has gotten extremely hurt along the way, I appreciate you sharing your heart and for giving me hope that good men do exist. God bless.
November 21, 2011 at 10:06 pm
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Marry Meeeee!
March 1, 2012 at 4:48 pm
Merritt,
I'm single. And I listened to the stories of 'real life'. Real marriage. What it's all 'really' like. And I grew disillusioned with love. Believed the the key to survival was myself. Passion was pointless, romance a lie. Marriage should be an intellectual agreement, not a holy love affair.
And because of that mindset, when I had a man say many of these very things to me, I rejected him.
Broke up and broke his heart.
Because I didn't think he was being 'realistic'.
I would give anything to go back one year and do everything differently.
We're all worldly-wise and aware of the very real world. Sometimes we need to be shown that it's ok to fall in love.
March 3, 2012 at 1:26 am
A short poem (http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/to-my-future-wife-3/)
To my future wife:
My heart yearns for a love secret, unknown
To hold her heart with mine entwined
And deep my longing for beauty to enthrone
Lord a daughter of yours like that to find!
Forever to share your Love from springs inside
For this your calling to a man you made:
To be in every kiss and smile implied
A chord of three an unbreakable brade
But I hear a gentile whisper; not yet
I see that life as yet is not prepared
This pull of my heart I will not forget!
A longing like this can not be compared
My heart will hold for a Love yet reviled
Waiting with hope and strength that will not yealed.
September 14, 2012 at 8:01 pm
God's been pressing on my heart to surrender my control of my life, of letting Him bring the perfect man to me..__it's valentine's day, I'm 21 and single.__This really touched my heart, I want so badly to trust that He can bring the perfect person into my life…. :'(
February 14, 2013 at 1:07 am
Pingback: To my future (non-existent?) husband | Soaring Hope
im gonna do one for my future wife, i can't wait what she comes up with but ill know she the one and only. my soulmate,best friend ,caring mother,cherish and appreciate the time we will have.
May 30, 2013 at 7:11 am